hi. it's been a while. i wish i could come back with something to contribute, like writing or another mod, but instead i'm going to say goodbye. shortly after i post this i'll be deactivating and idk if i'll ever be back.
i'll leave this up for a few days, but after that i'll be deactivating for the foreseeable future. it would be nice to come back some day when it all feels easier, but i can't promise anything. thank you guys for sticking around ♥️
to everyone who has been kind, supportive, and a friend to me or what i create, thank you. you're the only reason i stuck around this long. llaz will still be with me, and i'll still write with him, but it will be for myself and on my own terms. not anyone else in this space or any other.
from what i've seen over the years, the ffxiv online community is cruel, self-serving, reactionary, and uplifts those who treat other people like resources. obviously there are exceptions, but that has been my experience thus far. i don't have the energy or the patience for it anymore.
as such, i don't have the energy for this account anymore. idk if i ever will again. this community has taken more from me than it gave. even with a such small following, i've been targeted, smeared, and belittled for what i share. i won't name names but believe me you would recognize them.
needless to say, i am not doing well. i cry every single day and i don't know if i'll ever stop. even if no one reads this, i have to talk about him. i need someone, anyone else to know how incredible he was. i am shocked, heartbroken, and exhausted.
we grew up in a very small town—i went to school with both him and his sister, his dad was our band director, and his mother taught me english. he has a beautiful family, and they love him so, so much. while we have some answers now, it still feels impossible that he's gone. he should be here now.
his name was adam. he was a doctor fresh out of residency. growing up he was always a very sick kid; helping other disabled children was his life's dream. he was my sister's best friend in the world. his wedding was this upcoming may. the invitation is still on my fridge. idk what to do with it now.
cw: suicide mention
2026 has been nothing but blow after blow for myself and my family. my husband was laid off on my birthday in february. he quickly found another position but in early march, just as we felt like we could breathe again, a dear childhood friend of mine committed suicide.
hi. it's been a while. i wish i could come back with something to contribute, like writing or another mod, but instead i'm going to say goodbye. shortly after i post this i'll be deactivating and idk if i'll ever be back.
hi, bluesky; i need to ask for a favor. recently my very, very dear friend jess (@pocket-panda.bsky.social) was diagnosed with cancer. right now she needs all the help she can get. if you are able, please consider donating towards her treatment below. thank you ❤︎
gofund.me/7a9f244e7
「 half of my soul 」
(comission by @/drkdaen, for @pocket-panda.bsky.social ❤︎)
#GPOSERS | #ffxivscreenshots
oops late for kiss day
#GPOSERS | #ffxivscreenshots | #Elvashade | #etoilestudio
「 from gold 」
#GPOSERS | #ffxivscreenshots | #Elvashade | #etoilestudio
「 half of my soul 」
(comission by @/drkdaen, for @pocket-panda.bsky.social ❤︎)
#GPOSERS | #ffxivscreenshots
A screenshot / gpose of Ruu, a blue-haired Viera, against the fields with a bow and arrow, on the hunt
One of my good friends (who Corsair crew and guests may know as the lovely Ruu / Darce) was recently diagnosed with AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia), which is an aggressive blood and bone marrow disease. If anyone has a bit to spare, any help would be appreciated!
www.gofundme.com/f/support-je...
♥️
The last few days have been the most overwhelming of my life. A little over 24 hrs ago I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. I am facing a tough battle ahead of me, out of state and away from my husband and son. My sister was kind enough to start a GoFundMe. Any help is appreciated. 1/2
hi, bluesky; i need to ask for a favor. recently my very, very dear friend jess (@pocket-panda.bsky.social) was diagnosed with cancer. right now she needs all the help she can get. if you are able, please consider donating towards her treatment below. thank you ❤︎
gofund.me/7a9f244e7
❤︎
#GPOSERS | #Elvashade | #etoilestudio
tears in my eyes aauughgh 🫠
#GPOSERS | #Elvashade | #viera
❤︎
#GPOSERS | #Elvashade | #etoilestudio
「 i can smell your sickness, i can cure your disease 」
#GPOSERS | #ffxivscreenshots | #ffxvivnsfw
「 wonderful nothing 」
#GPOSERS | #GPOSERSNSFW | #FFXIVNSFW
「 nature chews on me 」
#GPOSERS | #GPOSERSNSFW | #Elvashade | #StudioNox
「— 12 : fresh 」
#GPOSERS | #vierapril | #vierapril2025 | #Elvashade
「— 15 : alternate universe 」
#GPOSERS | #vierapril | #vierapril2025 | #Elvashade
「— 19 : pastel 」
#GPOSERS | #vierapril | #vierapril2025 | #Elvashade
