Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

Yes.

🤷🏾‍♂️

Here for a good time, not a long time.

If they'd said this at the top I wouldn't have read their shitty AI article.

Backrooms discovered in Gravity Falls

the only prerequisite for running one of these superhero twitter accounts is never having read a comic.

a black and white photo of two men standing next to each other with the words `` i 'm shocked . '' ALT: a black and white photo of two men standing next to each other with the words `` i 'm shocked . ''

BREAKING: BBC alleges that the Trump admin may be engaging in insider trading...

Long Story Short | Official Trailer | Netflix YouTube video by Netflix

The Bojack Horseman creator dropped a new series last year. Are we ready for more depression? youtu.be/wWziW_vQ_L4?...

Also, of course, drug trafficking is not a crime punishable by summary execution even if you disingenuously try to rebrand it as "narcoterrorism."

The Onion has successfully acquired Alex Jones’ ‘Infowars’ after 17 months of legal battles and has debuted its new logo.

It will be turned into a parody of itself, with the support of the Sandy Hook families.

The 49ers are going to end up taking AJ Dybantsa with their 1st round pick

Wild lol

All at once?!? 😳

a man in a hoodie says ok well we 're in a spaceship that 's bigger on the inside than the outside ALT: a man in a hoodie says ok well we 're in a spaceship that 's bigger on the inside than the outside

It's like a TARDIS

HOW LARGE IS HIS ASSHOLE?!?!?

“Learn AI” is such bullshit. THERE’S NOTHING TO LEARN. It’s like saying “Learn how to call Domino’s and ask for a shitty pizza."
#NotASkill #MotherfuckAI

Ask Edinburgh?

About to dive into this bed like Scrooge McDuck in them coins.

“They’ll never close the Strait again” lasted a solid 10 hours.

Masterful negotiation (read: market manipulation) from Trump

He was probably so lit that he time traveled back to the 70's.

That's some Johnny Cash circa 1970s drinking right there.

Gotta be the Only nigga ever with a Tom Selleck mustache and a lineup that crispy

Nobody is fucking with him

On multiple occasions in the past year, members of a security detail had difficulty waking Patel because he was seemingly intoxicated, according to information supplied to justice department of White House officials. Our request for “breaching equipment” – normally used by SWAT and hostage rescue teams to quickly gain entry into the buildings – was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind, locked doors, according to multiple their request

I’ve been drunk but never “call the breaching team” drunk