Straight guy singing Katy Perry: buddy you’re a firework

“Country girls make do” I say as I trim my toe hairs with hot pink blunt tipped fiskars

Liberals be like “please donate to my cause prairie dogging for peace in which I hold in my poops until the orange man is gone [if you don’t support me you love h*m*s]”

Does everyone else’s discover feed suck

lil nas turtium

Is this a plus or a minus

Straight up whackin weeds

Therapists hate them

May I recommend actually getting rid of it?

Just people HONKING at each other

Drama! At the Harris Teeter Parking Lot

Watch out for black kow compost (yellow bag), I opened a bag and it was full of termites :/

Pranked my mom by telling her I was considering business school

Some of yall have garages and it shows

The dentist absolutely showered me with compliments about my teeth today so yeah I’m in a GREAT mood

Gassy and uncertain

I don’t bedrot I toiletrot and this is why I need to learn to stand to pee

We are more than 10 minutes past start time and they’re trying discussing what to do today while everyone is on their phones

My dbt class has three (3) facilitators and somehow they never have communicated the plan for the session ahead of time

Men love to go into museums and stand right in front of things

Surge pricing on utilities is so unreasonable, I have now heard of at least 2 people having bills over $400 in one month without any changes in consumption habits

Walking around in my grey Patagonia quarter zip with a company logo on it and looking down and shaking my head so people know I got it secondhand

Sometimes I love using the men’s room

Is anyone else having trouble with signal refusing to keep threads muted?

Waiting To Hear If I Will Be Laid Off

do you accept synonyms

$55 for the doctor to tell me the bee sting allergy test is “doesn’t do shit”

“hail mary full of grace” is obviously describing grace topping mary

Heart full of sorrow, nose full of boogers