we all know I have no life, so:

I always thought Sun Tzu's "Art of War" was a little simplistic and obvious but it turns out yes, you do literally need to tell the Secretary of War "you need to feed your troops and keep them from being wiped out by preventable diseases"

surely no army in military history has ever been laid low by disease, a famously uncommon problem among people living in enforced close quarters

As I do every year on 4/20, I will be following the Jeopardy! interview segment tonight by saying “Dream blunt rotation. Now let’s get back into the Jeopardy! round.”

looking good sir

https://www.theonion.info/

Dave Mathews in a keffiyeh holding up signs that say STOP THE GENOCIDE and STOP KILLING CHILDREN at a concert

This is not a knock on DMB but if you had told me twenty years ago that Dave Mathews would be this outspoken on an issue that Radiohead completely shat the bed on, well... I would've been surprised!

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

A peer reviewed study shows a promising link between flu and shingles vaccines and a reduced risk of dementia. A heroin addict who cut off a raccoon’s penis for “further study” says these vaccines cause autism. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

Ideal relationship dynamic

this morning, mamdani’s team got in touch with me to float a new tax proposal: if your net worth exceeds $5 million and you dress badly, you’ll be hit with a 10% annual levy for “visual pollution.” i would be in charge of deciding if the outfits are bad.

I bring a sort of Forbidden Vibe to InternalServerError that Rate Limit Exceeded don't really like

trying to post through it rn

we know

Soaring Gas Prices Forcing More Americans To Drink Less Gas

If you're a software engineer, you live in/near NYC, and you're into games, this might be the job for you. Great chance to work with @orta.io and build cool stuff.

eevd.fa.us6.oraclecloud.com/hcmUI/Candid...

The Calvin's dad explaining records meme. He is explaining that the two kinds of meme are Calvin's dad and Loss. Despite being a meme about Calvin's dad, this one is Loss.

Yes, the Grink was there. I'm getting to that. He was on that island with me. And I wouldn't be alive to tell my story without him.

"Magataotao" on Twitter writes: "I am Catholic. This👇is not my Pope." Attached is a video of the Pope saying that we should search for peace and reject war. A community note under their tweet says: "You are not a Catholic if you do not accept the Pope, but rather a schismatic. Canon 751: “Schism is the refusal of submission to the Supreme Pontiff,” ie. the Pope. https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib3-cann747-755_en.html"

first in my bloodline to see someone get excommunicated by a community note

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a digital kiosk at the entrance of a parking garage with a dispensed ticket. The screen display reads: PLEASE TAKE TICKET BELOW. Panel 2: a T-Rex is sticking its little arm out the window of its partially opened car door, trying to reach the ticket.

a flag that is a brown bar top and bottom, then a red bar in the middle and a yellow squiggle

just in time for pride month, happy to announce I designed the Hot Dog flag

"To put it bluntly, an X post today receives less than 3% of the views a single tweet delivered seven years ago."
If you think it is necessary to be on Twitter to communicate your fact-based worldview, the reality is that worldview is being smothered.

@ItsBCJim The bad part of getting older is that you become an NPC, the good part is that being an NPC rocks. Nothing like walking down the street with a thought bubble that's just a sandwich you're looking forward to. Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane

dad: so whats the deal with the war

me: *speaks for 5 min*

dad: wow that is an impressive analysis

me: thanks I took it from a person I follow online who is a subject matter expert

dad: oh whats their name

me: They are a cartoon dog wearing underwear as a face mask called Piss Prevail On Earth

all these universities kept axing medieval history departments as if they thought tyrants beefing with the Pope was going to stop being relevant

‪Adam Serwer‬ ‪@adamserwer.bsky.social‬ · 9m Right so the questions are not at all analogous. 1 ‪Rick Hellman‬ ‪@rickhellman.bsky.social‬ · 7m They certainly are. The Jewish State exists. So does the United States. 1 ‪Adam Serwer‬ ‪@adamserwer.bsky.social‬ · 6m no one's asking whether it exists, we're asking what the definition of a jewish state is 1 ‪Rick Hellman‬ ‪@rickhellman.bsky.social‬ · 5m The question is exactly about existence. 5 ‪Adam Serwer‬ ‪@adamserwer.bsky.social‬ · 2m right he's asking her to define the terms of that existence. Would you like to do that? 1 ‪Rick Hellman‬ ‪@rickhellman.bsky.social‬ · 1m lol wut no 1 Adam Serwer ‪@adamserwer.bsky.social‬ after all that sarcasm about the question "what do you mean by jewish state?" you also can't answer it?

Brutal

just to be clear, everyone, when 8 pm EDT comes and goes, regardless of what does or does not happen, the president still threatened genocide and war crimes and we should still impeach, arrest, and try him

I used to write the WaPo editorials on US-Africa policy, as well on as human rights and politics on the continent.

To describe hundreds of thousands of deaths on the continent as “messy” is an absolute abomination.

new yorker headline: THIS EASTER, AN AMERICAN POPE CONFRONTS AN AMERICAN WAR

*movie trailer guy voice*

NASA just dropped this image of Artemis II astronaut Christina Koch looking back at us. The first woman to ever see our planet in its entirety. I’m not crying you’re crying 🥹🔭🧪 📸: NASA

One day, "It" will happen, by which I mean sudden and unexpected news that you want to celebrate. In such cases, you will want the right outfit. 🧵