I can't shake what my mama gave me (it's clinical depression).

I love the time change.
Goodbye, seasonal depression!
Welcome back, normal depression.

15 years ago today I quit smoking cold turkey, and I have to say it was way easier than quitting smoking cigarettes.

This may be the dumbest take I’ve seen in a long time. “I’m not voting for democratic candidates in the midterms because they didn’t applaud Trump.”

Elon Musk was issued a letter of reprimand for screwing with the Georgia elections. Wow, that will show him. 🙄

Wife: Get ready, we have to leave in 15 minutes!
Me: Do you want me to get dressed three times?

Donald “Pep” Johnson, played for the Cubs, including their 1945 season which was their last pennant win before 2016. Also his grandfather played with Babe Ruth. Then he showed us this ring, from his dad’s 1945 National League Championship. Can’t be many of these out there.

This is for any baseball nerds like me. At breakfast today and older gentleman came to my table and started talking to me because he saw my Yankees hat. Turns out his father 1/2

Friend told me to ask Alexa, “how do you say a seal pushed me yesterday” in French and omg if you do this make sure the kids are aren’t around

I think I may have irritable personality syndrome.

a man is holding a microphone in front of a blue curtain and talking into it . Alt: Donald Glover is holding a microphone in front of a blue curtain and talking into it saying “Good”.

Trump Supporters: We’re going to boycott New York City if Zohran Mamdani gets elected as Mayor.

New Yorkers:

On “rapture eve” we should all put a set of our clothes out on the front lawn and really freak some people out

I didn’t even hear what he said. Was it worse than calling our veterans suckers and losers

A couple of years ago I got a book called "Getting Things Done". Never read it.

As an adult white male, can I just say that the biggest threat to our country is clearly adult white males

The Epstein files don’t need to be released, if he wasn’t in them the proof would’ve been touted by every major news source months ago.

How it started vs How it’s going

If you’re against gay marriage, may I suggest not marrying someone that’s the same sex as you. Otherwise stfu, your opinion is meaningless.

I don’t remember living in a dystopian society when Biden was President.

Cybertruck with the license plate “YESIDID”

Did you just pay six figures for the ugliest vehicle on the road?

If the media actually pushed on the Epstein thing half as much as they did the “Joe Biden is old and incapable” thing, we would be done with him already.

So MAGA’s first time believing women is going to be with Ghislaine Maxwell?

Are nouns still a thing? Or just a person or place?

So if I’m understanding this correctly, Trump is just renaming Mexican Coke to “The Coke of America”. Where have I heard something like this before

“Biden should’ve released the Epstein files!”. Oh yeah, because MAGA definitely wouldn’t have called it fake news.

I may be dumb, but I’m not a “join Elon Musk’s political party” dumb.

Elon could take Trump down and would still be a gigantic piece of shit.

I’m just happy Merrick Garland didnt’t do anything that would make him look partisan during his tenure. It really worked out.

Walking from the protest yesterday straight to a farmer’s market and eating a tamale felt like the most California thing I could do.

It was a beautiful thing to see