All the employees over 50 want to be here as much as they can. All the employees under 40 want to be here as little as possible.

Crazy comeback from Dame. You love to see it, man.

*after slamming the car door on my own hand, breaking 2 fingers*

"Ah yes, the Art of the Deal!"

American scientists did a Jurassic Park?! With wolves?! You're taking the piss, mate...

*Big Lebowski nihilist voice* We are NDP voters, we believe in NOTHING.

Blue Jays locked up Guerrero Jr. It's gonna be a great day!

Now I’m just a small town country lawyer but it feels as though rather than abandoning our most targeted and marginalized communities to win over 19 bigots, Democrats should run on “we’re going to impeach remove and imprison that demented evil criminal fuck and his pale ratty Nazi billionaire, too”

What strain everyone smokin for Liberation Day? Got some Grand Daddy Purps and a little Sour Diesel kickin around myself.

Let them eat tariffs!

Mr President... A second journalist has hit the war plan group chat.

My buddy from work is 46, has never voted before, but because of everything going on is registering to vote. Many such cases, I hope!

Carney developing a new 21st century socialism with Canadian characteristics. What is SocDem Singh doing? Your guess is as good as mine, man.

Noticing a pattern: everyone who agrees with me is a wise independent thinker and everyone who disagrees is a brainwashed sheep

Listening to the Lonely Island in 2025 just hits differently, man.

Had a Celcius yesterday then promptly had a terrible sleep. Snapping back blueberry teas and water tonight because it's OK to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. 😤

Bruce Brown on that Kyle Lowry type beat.

Trader Dan has still got it man. That 2031 Suns pick is gonna be pretty, pretty good.

Season 2 of Severance cost the studio 20 million dollars an episode to create and I'm over here looking up recipes for ice soup. Crazy times.

Welcome, teens coming here from tiktok. I think you’ll find that through the magic of the written word I am able to craft sentences that are as vivid and compelling as any short-form video!

Going insane waiting for S2 of Severence to drop!!! Need to know what's goin on with Mark S, Helly R and Dylan G!!!

American TT refugees trying to help Chinese kids with their English homework. Blind leading the blind, I'm afraid 😂

RedNote is a trip dude. Chinese netizens are hilarious.

This happened before actually, it led to World War I

Been messing about on Xiaohungshu for a few hours and now I'm fluent in Mandarin and Cantonese. XSWL hhhhhhhhhhh 😂

got me and my wifes anniverseary mixed up with 9/11 again. in my defense the numbers are kind o f close together. "Im sorry Toots"

My coworker is worried about Disc golf at the Summer Olympic games and I'm just sitting here trying to let others enjoy things and live their lives.

Sorry I'm not dumb enough to believe in "wind." The air doesn't just move sometimes for no reason. Ask yourself who profits from this

To an asshole, all virtue is "virtue signaling."

NBA basketball is soooooo fun to watch without someone in your ear telling you it’s unwatchable