fluffy decidua looking like lucifer the fallen angel

insane woman with insane woman hair

i asked the postrats for help and they ignored me in favor of discussing how to most favorably treat the algorithms grown in their desktop computers. and in spite of it all i'm still going there because i want to see the trees. dopesick and yearning for moss and fern and tide

it's been real before, during the pandemic i met the model on tiktok and she talked just like you or me. but whatever comes of it

is there anything with evil rat bastard nonbinary characters bc all the ones i can think of are more along the lines of heckin valid representation

someone living in philadelphia with poor analyses of the discourse call that a philly cheese take

not in a recreational sense. that is boring. i want to gestate new treatments for heds in my cells

lesbians with access to medchemexpress gimme gimme gimme i have so many things to try

this protracted breakdown is because i spent all of last year dying and in spite of trying everything i could to keep my hope and love alive i just watched as everyone in my life left bc i wasn't suffering gracefully enough. in spite of everything i survived and there's nothing left of me

luck is the only thing allowing you to live. virtue doesn't live on paper

bc IF IT WORKS my body is no longer a limiting factor. i can change reality. i can stop begging for mercy and become something that doesn't need it. i thought i ran out of nurturing and warmth but i just needed to shift it towards the poison in me and cut out everything else i possibly can

this isn't even uniquely bad, everyone i know is two weeks away from this. i cant support myself so this is my natural state of being. if stability is so unattainable id rather do something exceptional like incredibly dangerous genetic mad science

disabled, losing my apartment, losing all my doctors, losing stable food whatever whatever whatever the point is that it doesn't matter and nobody cares and there are no guardrails and instead of finding pearls to clutch because i'm scared im going to walk right into the fire

ithink this is what elden ring is about

this isn't the great and terrible project tho this is just genotype informed spaghetti thrown at the wall that i pepe silvia'd in the course of researching the great and terrible project

so far ive biohacked myself into nonexistent inflammation, normal energy levels (vast improvement) and the tummy ache to end them all. win some/lose some

biggest snail ive ever seen snailing along on wood with eyes wayyyy outstretched

snail. compatriot

my boy headmates have prettier voices and better voice training than any of the girls and it UPSETS ME IT COMES SO NATURALLY TO THEM

every day i research my great and terrible project and if i spend longer than five minutes away from researching my great and terrible project im consumed with anxiety as the reality of how little control i have fills my lungs and keeps the air from me

we went to a trans night and the vibes were horrible and terrible so i went to go say hi to the biker swarm i saw on the way there and i rode with them for a while and got burger and the wind across my skin and the night air and movement as a poem

yes c: yes

deci on motorcycle selfie makeup red light boobies grey tank top and black shawl with roses smiling rare girl who is going to make it

*:

belief is fuel to burn

also severa

evelyn/lotte/sylph/sera/clais

orange sport bike parked on wet rocks with a backdrop of forest. the license plate reads "ilinx", the name for a state of play. "ilinx creates a temporary disruption of perception, as with vertigo, dizziness, or disorienting changes in direction of movement." there are things innate to being that are easily cheapened by being given a name, and the study of them erects hundreds of trees that obscure the forest: will a hydrologist tell a fish given voice that it doesn't really understand the water?

ilinx is rehabilitation and mobility . i have begged the ocean for sustenance and she only watched me starve . i will ask the mountains to turn the other way . i will take the bitterness of salt water and make it my own; say the waves: "you survived without my sustenance and now you are like me".

i will see the pacific and i will no longer be afraid

i'm part of it whether or not i feel like it and i'm starting to feel like i'm part of it whether or not you let me be. are you part of it? the feeling doesn't matter, are you really part of it?

deci has bangs now and a spaghetti strap tank top it looks like god stepped on its head and its soul is starting to come out of its ears and it won't stop until every ounce of faith is lost and deci is a feral creature piloted by instinct and synapse alone

i've had a terrible number of months

i'm disabled+trans and will be homeless in a matter of weeks. i'm trying to put together savings as i can but it's an uphill battle. help keep me fed and relocate to WA bc better homeless there than in AR. thank u ♡

СА: $perdifoil
РР: @\valcierge
VМ: @\perdifoil
and my 🎶 in ☣️

the spirals spelling me out now are every shadowed thing years of adrenaline concealed . they spill out of me like bile and black blood and there is more of it in me than there is of me . metastisized expression of me . shadows like a thousand arms and a thousand wings . i dont know what i am now .