Nude Matt B sits in a chair indoors holding a stack of books upright in front of his groin, showing pink painted nails while looking directly at the camera.
Happy Big Word Day! And you know what they say about guys with big words... 😏
Pro tip: tip hotel housekeeping every night. Many hotels have different housekeepers cleaning different rooms each day, meaning that it’s very likely that the same person will not be cleaning your room two days in a row.
Raindrops cling to a windowpane with a blurred view of a green front lawn, nearby houses, and a parked vehicle visible through the glass.
Welp, guess I'm not mowing after all, lol
I wish so much. Or at least a mower in overalls seeking approval and dick.
View of a grassy front yard covered with small purple flowers, with several leafing trees, a residential street, and a house with an American flag visible in the background.
I should probably mow the lawn this weekend
A gray cat sitting on a soft pet crate placed in front of a house door, with an easter-themed wreath hanging on the door. An orange cat hides inside the pet crate.
A gray cat sitting on a soft pet crate placed in front of a house door, with an easter-themed wreath hanging on the door. An orange cat hides inside the pet crate.
Sure, you can come over, but you have to get past the bouncers.
#kitteas
#catsofbluesky
Graphic with a black background and stylized red-and-green devil horns at the bottom, with text reading: “TODAY IS NATIONAL HORNY DAY. THIS IS A DAY TO EXPRESS YOUR DESIRES AND FANTASIES TO YOUR PARTNERS AND/OR INTERESTS. PLEASE USE CONSENT BEFORE YOU ACT!”
Nude Matt B stands indoors resting against a door frame with one arm raised behind his head, facing the camera with a direct gaze, his body fully visible in a relaxed standing pose.
Apparently today is National Horny Day. So, how YOU doin.
😔
Signboard with text that reads "i've spent my whole adult life chasing the high of a scholastic book fair" on a weathered background.
🎯🎯🎯
Matt B reclines on a couch wearing a dark graphic T-shirt and smartwatch, holding a hot dog with mustard in one hand, with overlay text reading “Come taste my weiner?” across the center.
🌭
Close-up of Matt B’s feet wearing bright blue socks decorated with winged unicorns, stars, and flowers, with visible text reading “ALPHA MALE” inside a white cloud shape.
One of my favorite pairs. 🦄
Matt B holds a book titled "married to distraction" in one hand while being distracted by a digital tablet in his other hand.
"At the heart of the current context is what we call the modern paradox: never before has it been so easy to stay in touch with so many people electronically, but rarely has it seemed so difficult to maintain genuine human closeness."
bookwyrm.social/user/polomex...
Nude Matt B stands indoors facing the camera with one hand raised in a casual wave, wearing small stud earrings and showing a tattoo on his left bicep, with overlay text reading “Good Morning” placed across the lower center of the image.
👋
I just buy them pre-diced now, lol.
Original Tweet from Southern Homo on April 5, 2019: "Can we talk about how the gays can and will remix anything and everything" Quote Tweet from Matt B on April 6, 2019: "I used to have a dance remix of Captain & Tennille's "Do That to Me One More Time""
Honestly I wish I still had it, just for its pure gay audacity.
Wendy's superbar advertisement featuring illustrations and descriptions of various dishes: pasta, mexican food, salad, and desserts.
What if we kissed at the Wendy's SuperBar
Apparently we need to "up" our game.
A license plate bingo game card with several states covered by red sliders indicating spotted license plates.
I picked these up in 2016, during one of our long road trips. I still keep them in the car for bored passengers.
🤣🤣
Right? Like, where do people even have the time.
Matt B in a neon orange shirt standing inside a dimly lit tollbooth at night with a large fan and a stool in the background.
April 7, 2015: Overnight shift in the tight space of the tollbooth.
21 times a month?!
I am nowhere near that number.
Maybe I need an accountability buddy?
youtu.be/UGD0TAkwdOA
Shirtless Matt B poses in a close-up selfie wearing a black cap over a pink bandana, showing light pink painted nails while resting his hand against his chin, with small stud earrings visible in his ear.
Aww, I forgot to post this yesterday, the International Day of Pink (second Wednesday of April).
#malepolish
Colorful packaging for "shark bites" brand chewy fruit snacks in assorted fruit flavors with shark illustrations.
It's funny, the things that trigger memories...
Close-up of a thimble in packaging with a hole to measure compatibility. The label reads "Use hole to try on for size"
Teehee 😈
Close-up of a printed Starbucks-style logo on paper with handwritten text around the border reading, “START YOU’RE MORNING OFF RIGHT!” with a small drawn heart at the end.
Someone didn't have their coffee this morning
A photo of the path toward the drive-through tree.
Matt B slowly drives the Kia Sorento toward the tree's opening
With less than a foot of clearance on either side, the car is successfully in the tree's drive-thru tunnel. Matt B waves from the driver's seat.
Matt B smiles proudly from the driver's seat as he pulls the car out of the tree's tunnel.
April 4, 2017. 5500-mile #roadtrip around the country. Klamath, CA. Only three drive-thru Redwood Trees remain today. The Tour-Thru Tree is 800 years old and a tiiiiight squeeze. Fold those mirrors in!
(From reviews I've read, our SUV may not have fit through the other two redwoods.)
Tweet from Matt B on April 4, 2016: "We pause this suitcase packing session for a 3-minute dance break. *shakes da booty all around the living room*"
I need to incorporate more dance breaks into my daily life.
A storefront named "plant parenthood" filled with various plants, with a sign inviting customers to check in.
To all the plant daddies, I just want you to know, if you're unsure about bringing another sprout into your life, there are options.
A split image comparing a confident animated ghost with a tongue out labeled "me flirting in text" to a shy, blushing animated ghost covering its face labeled "me in person."
All of you. ALL OF YOU.