Made the classic mistake of serving some pearled couscous with dinner tonight and the 2 yr old dropped his plate so i’ll just be on my hands and knees all night picking individual slightly sticky couscouses off the floor that somehow ended up in multiple rooms
Oh! It’s going to be terrible! The minute you think your writing is anything but terrible is the moment you are in trouble. Constantly questioning yourself is vital to growth!
Singlehandedly saving mall culture
Jfc the robots get better medical care than us
New Fyre Fest meal just dropped
New Fyre Fest meal just dropped
Freshman yr of high school: My Name Is came on mtv as i was getting ready for school. Immediately called my friend Tom (family landline to family landline) to tell him to turn on mtv.
When our 2nd kiddo was 2 weeks old my husband went to atlanta for 5 months to film this so please please plan to see this over the summer :)
If ai people truly care about productivity, then their shit needs to not take away the fun stuff (creativity) and instead take away the shitty stuff (cleaning the high chair for the 4th time in a day)
In weird things we do to make money: many many yrs ago i was an extra on criminal minds and they had me come in, go through hair/make up, take my photo with handcuffs on then they used that photo to make a tattoo to put on the bad guy who was covered in tattoos of his victims.
Even as a mom i don’t accommodate substitutions
My 2 year when anything doesnt go as desired:
Is this how i found out chuck norris died?
The answer is bleach, bleach spray, clorox wipes, sanitizing temp on dishwasher, 2 chuck pads, new sponge, several deep breaths, regrettably being a tad harsh to the one who did not poop the kitchen sink bath after a minor infraction (using a couch pillow as a plate to peel an orange on wtf?)
Sometimes you’re solo parenting and wondering how the f you are going to make it through the rest of the day but then the baby poops in the tub in the kitchen sink and you are really really wondering how to make it through the rest of the day
This was so good! A great reminder that we are all hustling nonstop, all day everyday. Motherhood is less lonely when we remember that.
2 months into knowing about, and frequently talking about the Spice Girls:
(Now) 6yo: my favorite spice girls is ginger because she wears a lot of red and that reminds me of the jogathon because kinders wore red for the jogathon because the school was all rainbow and so i like ginger the best
I might never be a sports better, or interested in prediction markets, but i will happily ignore everything i need to do in a day to gobble up interesting long form content like this
A flashlight drawn by a 6 yr old on a homework assignment page. The assignment was to find an object in your house that moves. It looks like a dick.
Instant classic from my kindergartener
My 6 yr old is still asleep (currently 8:38am) and my 2 yr old somehow woke up the moment the clocks changed (2am) and hasnt gone back to sleep since. Love dst 🫠😵💫
ParentSquare App Alert!
Text!
Email!
If your student received a Ruby’s gift certificate and it’s expired, Ruby’s has assured us they will still take them.
you think you've seen the whole movie, and then the alt text reveals you haven't even finished act two
The beers would actually kill me at this point, and as i was dying the ghost of my college self would mock me to my last breath
We watch the grover/cookie/harry/frazzle music video Fuzzy and Blue at least once a day.
I volunteered at the scholastic book fair this year and it is unfortunate to report that minecraft has overtaken jonathan taylor thomas in the top poster spot
If your kids are ‘full of energy’ but you’re worried about a half mile walk…respectfully, your kids are not full of energy.
No cheating, your last saved pic of a celebrity is your therapist
Yes to strawbs! Citrus. Bell peppers. Tomatoes. Loquats if you can find a tree.
Any day trips planned for north county at all? I know all the kid spots in carlsbad! Lol used to be cool and knew all the sd restaurants but alas, children.
Me to my kids everynight: