You should see her brothers nose!

You were right, she wanted to go outside 😆😆😆

I can't tell if these are puppy eyes or Ehrlich terror eyes

We must remember we are working with a generation of No Child Left Behind kids. They were literally engineered to be stupid.

The only dad jokes I like are dead dad jokes because I'm gonna get something out of this relationship.

This is the best pizza in town because there are no pizza places in town, so of course, 'MY' pizza reigns supreme.

I live in a literal dream

Just told a man to go stroke with Vicks Vapor rub. I feel good.

I'm feral today

Sometimes, I don't block. I just delete the conversation thread so you know that I've silenced you.

I desperately need everyone to get a sense of humor, expeditiously

You are made of multitudes, its just that most of them are multiples of 1

Damn not our favorite little sister 😭😭😭

Fuck Bernie Sanders from the bottom of my heart. You all may have short memories, but I don't. He's a big part of why we got Trump the first time so yeah he can suck my clit.

It's too early in the morning to be talking about the difference between necromancy and necrophilia but here we are. #diddy

Lol you should see its spiky cousin the soursop. You'll have warlike flashbacks of your time on the toilet.

I remembered there was a custard apple hidden on a low branch. It's rare to get one of this ripe from the tree. Usually, the monkeys and birds have gotten to them first.

a man in a suit is sitting in a car and says that 's a lovely accent you have ... new jersey ALT: a man in a suit is sitting in a car and says that 's a lovely accent you have ... new jersey

I love my Jersey accent

Hoe shit is calling my name

Gen-z has killed fandom

It looked like this for exactly 3 mins

Oooooo look at Doechii looking cunt

It must be an xy thing in general 🤦🏾‍♀️

Sometimes I forget my girl dog is, in fact, a dog. So when she does gross dog shit, I am always shocked. Clutching my pearls and in disbelief. Like girl....what are you doing??? That's dumb boy dog shit. 🤦🏾‍♀️

two men are standing in front of a large window looking out at a city at night ALT: two men are standing in front of a large window looking out at a city at night

People tend to blow up their lives in the best way around me. What a performance darling 💃🏾

an older woman wearing glasses is sitting at a table with a caption that says " looks like a win win " ALT: an older woman wearing glasses is sitting at a table with a caption that says " looks like a win win "

I have done the Lord's work. The troll has blocked me.

I love it when something is so gay you have to call it out. 2 women kissing, ehhh, 2 women singing an obscure song from a musical concept album about Homer's Odyssey that never went to production??? That shits gay 🌈🌈🌈

a man with a beard is smiling and wearing a hat ALT: a man with a beard is smiling and wearing a hat

The best thing being cringe is that I'm not the one cringing 💃🏾