I hear The Onion has a trap door

A guy asking ChatGPT to review a series of fart sound effects and getting a serious kiss ass response that calls it atmospheric

I can't stop laughing at this post. It's perfect.

OH HELL YES. NEIL GORSUCH, THE LAST JUSTICE OF THE MOCHICANS, ASKS "Do you think Native Americans are citizens of the united states."

IF YOU TRIP GORSUCH'S NATIVE AMERICAN WIRES, YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY, SIR!

HOLY SHIT UCONN

this is turning out to be one of the onion's all-time classics

Detained by ICE, he missed multiple cancer treatments. Now he’s in hospice. Some immigrants with chronic health problems were swept up by ICE in Minnesota, leading to missed medications and, for one man, missed chemotherapy sessions.

Oudone Lothirath missed four out of five chemotherapy appointments while in ICE detention and received no medical care there. Now he will likely die in a matter of days. www.startribune.com/how-ice-deta...

this is exactly how trumps rants should have been reported on since 2015

dude was chucking up nothing but bricks for the last three games 😭

and bigs in foul trouble

sickos are gonna love this one

how do we think McLuhan would feel about slopification

A Reductress post features a photo of Kristi Noem with the headline, “Kristi Noem Put Down for Being Too Hard to Train”

Screaming

PEPFAR, the program to stop hundreds of thousands of children and adults from dying of HIV/AIDS, was $6.5 billion a year.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people local newspaper reporters are rarified elites instead of ink-stained wretches driving their Honda Civic to a crime scene so you know don’t have to rely on Nextdoor and the police press release.

Idaho families sue over immigration raid that swept up hundreds, including U.S. citizens — NBC News About 400 people, including children and U.S. citizens, were detained for four hours while they were denied food and water in the raid, according to the lawsuit.

More than 400 people, including hundreds of citizens, were “sorted” at gun point into racial and ethnic groups by 200 ICE agents who fired flash-bang grenades into cars with people inside, pointed guns at children & demanded their zip tied parents not comfort them. apple.news/Ausdx6kWtT0e...

#kubball

Imagining wanting less of this in America lol. Skill issue

Judge Biery signed the order with a photo of Liam and two bible verses: The first is "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." The second is simply "Jesus wept."

Astonishing thing for a judge to do.

This five year old is still in jail

I grew up with Alex Pretti The kind-hearted ICU nurse shot by ICE agents was my childhood best friend.

I wrote about my childhood friend Alexi Pretti. Please read it and share it and remember him as a human being. @theverge.com

The Washington Post published a clear video of federal agents removing Alex Pretti's handgun moments before he was fatally shot. There's nothing in the video to suggest Pretti even reached for his weapon.

wapo.st/49Zqv1L

You have to read this. Firsthand affidavit from one of the women who was there and recording the video. She talks about how Alex Pretti was directing traffic when she arrived. She watched him be killed in front of her. She's afraid to go home, worried she'll be arrested.

Alex Pretti "used to tell people off when they made sexist comments to female physicians. He bought me coffee when I had a really bad day as an intern...I laughed alongside him daily. He made a point to teach medical residents without judgement, but with a smile on his face and a joke."

“Everyone should be allowed to carry a gun for their safety but the government can murder you in the street if you have a gun” is an incredible endpoint for the conservative moment

People are being executed in the street over a problem that straight up does not exist and both parties are complicit in the lie

Well, @sarahjeong.bsky.social has been pitching Best Gas Masks for a while now and it’s about time to say yes