giving my snake another antiseptic bath just to be safe but he looks completely better! it was just dirt 😭

here’s a picture of my snake (waffles) making a heart!

okay he’s not completely better, but much better than before! i’m still going to give him antiseptic baths just im case it is an infection.

i’m not home so i can’t confirm, but my snake shed and from the pictures my parents sent he looks completely better!

maybe it was just dirt? i’ve been nauseous with worry and guilt for the past 4 days over dirt…

i’m so worthless and pathetic and i should just die already

it’s a pretty common bacterial/fungal infection. i switched to a bioactive enclosure and i think the dirt holds more moisture and bacteria

i take buspirone and it’s helped my anxiety a lot and i don’t think i’ve had any side effects. i also take hydroxyzine as needed and it makes me tired and drowsy but calmer

i fed my snake and he has a normal appetite which is good.

my mom and boyfriend think it’s just dirt stuck under his scales but i think it’s scale rot. i will start with daily antiseptic baths after the weekend so he can digest first.

okay i gave my snake an antiseptic bath and put some antibiotics on him and deep cleaned his cage and replaced the substrate with paper towels so he should be okay

i got in a cycle of avoiding my snake (i was still feeding him and giving him clean water) because i felt so ashamed of myself. but obviously avoiding it made the problem worse and my snake is suffering because of it. i’m so ashamed of myself.

this poor creature solely relies on me for care and i didn’t take good care of it. i’m genuinely a horrible person.

i am determined to be better. i might rehome my snake because it doesn’t seem like my depression is getting better anytime soon.

i will be taking him to the vet as soon as possible. hopefully i can afford it.

i’m a terrible person. i’ve been so depressed and i haven’t been cleaning my snake’s tank good enough and i’m pretty sure he has scale rot. i know depression isn’t an excuse and i’m taking responsibility for my bad husbandry.

i’m on a mission to get a couple penpals to send snail mail to

i have a whole other semester before i start, i haven’t even applied to any schools yet!! but i can’t stop thinking about the future!

sorry for only posting about school, it’s all i can think about recently! just constantly worrying about hard classes i have to take and worrying i won’t be able to handle university

i don’t know if i’m going to pass gen chem and org chem. i’m only taking chemistry concepts and i’m so lost…

plus i’m so unmotivated to learn because most of it doesn’t interest me in all. i like biochemistry but like…i do not care about titrations.

i thought i finally found something i could do and that i would enjoy but of course it’s hopeless too

so according to people on reddit there’s barely any jobs in bio/psych, they make no money, grad school is extremely competitive and it’s basically hopeless…

okay i changed my mind again lol, i’m going to get a BA in biology.

the university i want to go to lets you pick a second discipline (psychology for me) to study for a BA! and you have to take way less chem, calc, and physics! this is literally perfect for me!

having a boyfriend makes my life so hard because i become dependent and my life revolves around him and i can’t live without him. but if i’m not in a relationship then i feel completely empty, like i barely exist.

boyfriend applied for an aviation mechanic job and might drop out of college and move home if he gets it. which means i’d only see him on weekends. i’m already panicking about seeing him less…

i feel so relieved and i’m actually excited to start university now, which i think is a good sign!

i’m going to minor in biology so i can still take some fun bio classes yay

my goal is to get a masters or phd and study animal behavior or comparative psychology! 🧠🐾

NEVERMIND i changed my mind and i’m planning on majoring in psychology!!!

9am calculus and 9:30am chemistry and a foreign language i’m going to be sick i hate this so much

next semester i’m taking 3 classes i hate and 0 classes i like. will i kill myself? we’ll find out.

i’m here for you <3 idk if this will help you but when my heart won’t stop racing i’ll run or do jumping jacks or something and then it will calm down after

i love when my depressive episode ends and i get super hyped and excited and can’t stop thinking and anything is possible!!!!!!!!

studying psych would be so much less stressful though ..i’m afraid studying bio is going to be bad for my mental health

okay i decided i’m going to try biology because it was my original plan and if i can’t do the math and chemistry, i’ll switch to psychology