You do have to admire the level of creativity it takes to continually come up with ways to step on one’s own dick in courtroom after courtroom

I’m sorry, did Virginia ruin your “We’ll Just Rat Fuck Our Way To Staying In Power” fun? Awww… tough shit. Cry more

Lol at Republicans hitting the “C’mon I’m just a little guy” about partisan gerrymandering in 2026. Got a problem, take it up with your loudmouth idiot boss

On top of being dumb and lazy, I think you’ll find that most cops are also scared shitless babies who treat everyone and every situation like a life threatening confrontation that must end in the death of anybody but them

Pain at the pump implies the possibility of pleasure at the pump.

The only thing dumber and more scuzzy than New York Democrats is Florida Democrats

[lil john voice]
Ternus for what

I wouldn't worry about this too much, Kevin. It's meant only for The Economist's core readership: inbred British millionaires

This is welcome news because—and no offense to anybody intended—but it’s long past time to decouple U.S. interests in the region from those of Israel’s and end unconditional military and economic support

Schrödinger’s strait is both open and closed

Part of the first class customer experience here at Ray’s House of Mirth

If you’re new to following me know this, I have nothing to offer you but blood, toil, tears and sweat as I try to make this experience—which is entirely free of charge to you—as puzzling and irritating as possible

I’m sorry for your loss(es)

My legs on a chaise next to a swimming pool bathed in sunshine

If you’re not grinding 24/7 you’re not serious about success

why not both

sigh so deep both lungs collapse

🤜🏼💥🤛🏼

The first Democratic 2028 hopeful who says, “elect me and give me a senate majority and I will add not less than four new liberal justices to the court” gets my vote

Not every grifter is a celebrity evangelical christian but every celebrity evangelical christian is a grifter

Wait, what: FBI director, Kash "Unqualified Podcaster Shithead" Patel, is a danger to national security? That's crazy

oh my god

My work here is done

Tan guy destable is how I am usually described to police after leaving a bar

Searching Wikipedia to hopefully learn why the word ‘rectify’ doesn’t refer to butt stuff

Every day a different billionaire says the most horrific movie villain thing you've ever heard but this guy and a grandpa from Vermont are the scary ones because they want to tax them

[gym locker room]
Me: I had that same dream again
Emily Blunt: I’m calling the police

(second date)
me: [eager to show off new tattoo] remember how you said you liked garlic bread

Tug and Tatiana

Tweet from @Breaking911: Tens of thousands of bees have suddenly swarmed across parts of Israel, prompting authorities to warn residents and shop owners to keep doors and windows closed.

Charlton Heston as Moses in The Ten Commandments holding his staff with his arms outstretched against a dark, cloud-filled sky