VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

i’m such a tradwife that i can’t climax unless i’m fantasizing about churning butter

Hey, news folks, when you cover his threats to commit war crimes, maybe you should mention the whole war crimes thing.

Pretty much every day on Bluesky.

Live updates.

Dr. Skipper, little buddy.

List of Knockoff Sodas There are many stores trying to replicate popular sodas at popular prices, around the globe. This is the internets only definitive catalog of those low value sodas. Dr. Slice Dr. Skipper Dr. Shasta Dr...

Or someone else from the Dr. Pepper health system. soda-loverswiki.fandom.com/wiki/List_of....

"I'm having a multi-day anxiety attack. Want to get together?" isn't really getting the traction I'd hoped for.

I ate your plums
that you were saving for breakfast!
and you will forgive me
because you are weak on crime

If you're not careful, AI programming tools don't just step on their own dicks... they grow new dicks to step on.

I mean, the camera followed you in slo-mo because there was a guy behind it. And he never gets credit.

“What are the best and worst Morrissey lyrics?”

CNN belatedly acknowledges the snuff video… and completely normalizes it.

I did not know Epstein on a boat
I did not know Epstein with a goat
I did not know Epstein in the air
I did not know him anywhere!

I for one welcome the aperocracy.

I don't want to buy a new
air
fryer.
I just want
cholesterol in my heart.

Some PR dink in the WH has definitely proposed timing armageddon so we can see the glow in a photo from Artemis.

My sources disagree on whether it's "Ai yi-yi yi / yi yi-yi" or "Aye aye aye aye [etc]" but we're in accord on our disbelief in the existence of either Russians or Yanks.

I ask myself that question every now and then.

Robble robble, you’ve torn your dress
Robble robble, your face is a mess

Bondi-hee
Bondi-huu
Bondi-haw
Bondi-ha-ha

&y, will you loofah my stretch marks?

What’s the proper plural for Judge Smails? Because there sure are a lot of Judge Smailseses in this world.

Fawn pug sitting on a leg and resting her chin on her paw.

Good morning

A brick store called “UR MART”

Not a great place to buy copper, according to their Yelp reviews.

A baby seal that looks a bit like a black pug.

Baby seal

Pubesigner Ballads and Fail Songs

I wish Marty Robbins was alive to write a cowboy ballad about a man named pubic hair.

White dog looking guilty and wearing a gnawed through Hawaiian roll container with a sign reading “I said aloha to your thanksgiving rolls.”