I could just tell from the stockings and high heels but it’s nice to know for if they’re ever naked.

I desperately wanted to buy this masterpiece on a cruise but they wouldn’t budge on the price.

2026 is not the year to post that April Fool’s joke. I know your social team is super excited but shits too crazy rn and my heart can’t take contemplating whether “SCOTUS approved Trump shooting babies into the sun. States ‘official act’. Returns to lower court.” is true or not today.

🥹

In 2016 this was called "The Stupid Psychopath Problem."

That was a nice few months they were useful(ish)!

ChatGPT now teases more info like a fucking Facebook post. "Do you want to know the three things most people forget when cleaning their carpets?" Yes asshole, that's why I asked about the steps for cleaning a carpet. We've trained LLMs to produce customized clickbait. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Okay, here it looks like thirty pounds.

It's the doxylamine succinate in Nyquil that knocks you out. It's available solo as Unisom or generic (but check the formulations, some Unisom are diphenhydramine) but for many people its long half-life is too big a hammer and they're too groggy the next day.

Do you think they’ll sell tickets for timed entry to shit on his grave, or will we all just stand in a long long line like civilized people?

Wenn das der Führer wüsste!

Had a “curtains for Zoosha” moment last night when I streamed SNL and didn’t know who any of the guests were.

Ofc there won’t be any elections, but if there are!

Why don’t Democrats don’t take a disingenuous “repeal and replace” campaign position? “Abolish ICE” sounds like scary open borders. “Fix ICE” sounds like sober compromise.

Have we learned nothing from seeing Republicans lie about being for vague middle ground solutions for the past 30 years?

Do you think they’ll sell tickets for timed entry to shit on his grave, or will we all just stand in an interminable line like civilized people?

He thinks that if he puts Machado in he'll get the Peace Prize.

Ahem!

Heated Rivalry x Shoresy crossover ep. LORD HEAR MY PRAYER

Overjoyed that today's sunset was a minute later than yesterday's

It’s nice to be reminded every now and again one of the minor reasons I left Chicago. This is gonna hurt at some point.

Did you go?

She’s going to be in Oh Mary I called this like a year ago

I woke up with a terrible headache and I'm not being very brave about it.

Nice turnout today in a tiny town of 492 souls in the Western Catskills, in a county that went 59% Trump in 2024.

Dolly didn’t want us to worry 🥹

You only did better than Marquita Bradshaw right next door by like 7ish%. You spend $90MM! She spent like. . . . $3,000 at kinkos and $500 in Chik-Fil-A gift cards.

God bless Amy McGrath, but it's giving Sisyphus. Girl, move to GA, or NC, or TX where you might finally win.

Mostly just screening questions for borderline personality disorder though, which I guess if you want to define relationally crazy, is not wrong.

I am 85% hot, 29.58% crazy, which places me in the marriage zone. Hot/Crazy Scale Test, as known from internet pop culture.

Step right up boys!

I think I've found some of that waste, fraud, and abuse Republicans are always talking about.