(which, yes, a bit ironic given that the weirdness here involved me waking up to 60-something consecutive drunk texts)

if not i can at least assure myself that i went above and beyond in an attempt to save this friendship, committing unspeakable and shameful deeds (sending a second message even though i didn't get a reply yet from my last one about a month ago)

fuck it, message sent, hopefully things can be at least Mostly Normal now

Emotional support lowbie account

pokemon gba evolution screen but with pikachu replaced with my profile pic what? izzn't is evolving!

probably because they were all melty and kinda hard to draw with now. easier to just get new crayons

Sabrina Carpenter responding to an ICE video using her song: This video is evil and disgusting. Do not ever involve me or my music to benefit your inhumane agenda.

White House ratio'd by the smallest possible pop star.

dejected miner meme

balrog

hell yeah

throne in bio indicates there's at least some sort of income potential from this and come on, what are we doing here people

(can't knock the hustle, but i *can* knock the hustled. fools)

YOU THERE, SELF-HATING PERSON WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM!

SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT YOURSELF! COMPLIMENT YOURSELF RIGHT NOW! I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S TORTURE OR FEELS FAKE! KEEP TRYING UNTIL YOU CAN SAY IT OUT LOUD! KEEP REPEATING IT UNTIL IT IS NOT A WHISPER! KEEP GOING EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT!

back on twitter i tried to post parody engagement bait but got sincere responses even when i posted like "repost if you breathe oxygen" or "looking to connect with fellow water drinkers" and then i realized as a species we are ngmi

Doctor Mario… fuck, wait, let me redo it

i'm so good at posting they banned me for it 😎

(also my eyes are pretty)

i'm gonna be famous

posting a gif of jingling keys every three hours and getting like 20k followers

without saying dr. mario, name a falling-block puzzle game

(this wasn't a work-related incident, his dad just had a real bad drinking problem)

his only regret is that dad couldn't be there to witness this proud moment, because he tragically slipped on a puddle of vomit and hit his head and blacked out and then drowned in that vomit

as a little boy he always dreamed of working the vomit hose someday. following in his father's footsteps. well look at him now

i like the encouraging hand on the vomit hose operator's back like "you're doing a good job, champ. keep it up!"

that's technically a sonic game bc you can paint your mech blue and go fast

wait no

[nods] armored core 6

yeah it's hard! i was going to say bloodborne, but now i'm sitting here wondering if that even counts as a jump button

excluding sonic and ONLY sonic is such a brilliant move. a lesser poster would've gone with "without saying mario," but that's why she makes the big bucks

sure that craft is "be a cube of unmarked styrofoam" but she's a master nonetheless

honestly this is incredible. truly a master of her craft

real plato's cave hours today

no! but i saw posts about posts and that's the next best thing