Sometimes my kids will present me with something so profound, that I am forced to reflect on my own life choices, like why did I have kids

what’s the latest tea on Timothy Chamomile

Rocking around the clock sounds exhausting.

How many years is a mental breakdown supposed to last?

Grant me the serenity to change the things that are minor inconveniences.

You telling me I don't have to pay anything for these radicals?

Hello, police? My daughter is wearing my clothes while telling me I have no style.

I would scroll my phone next to you so hard

can’t believe it’s almost 2026 and we’re still don’t know what the deelio is

🩷

They call it “personal growth” because other people’s growths are disgusting.

I’ve never exfoliated. I like to keep my foliage close.

My doctor said I should avoid too much excitement so I won’t be using exclamation points for a while.

I’m like if “what the fuck” was a person.

I have no patience for people who take their time crossing a crosswalk but I’ll sit all day and wait for a family of ducks to cross the road

Sam's Club is the Walmart of Costcos

(and there's a reason for that)

Him: where are all the coffee filters?

Me:

Thank you! 😊

Thanks! 😊

❤️

💕

💕

Thank you!

Thank you!

❤️

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you! Congrats!

Thank you! So are you!

Thank you!