“ki-wi? finally, someone invented a fruit that feels like balls shaved exactly a week ago”

i love when i log into something and it tells me some shit like Notification Hub is now Alert Village

on a successful roll, add 3 temporary boots to your tea

hey remember squidward’s toenail in that one episode

btw 99% of bacteria (not an exaggeration) are *a*pathogenic

(severely condescending tone) Umm let me explain something to you sweetie: [objectively the wrongest information you've ever heard]

naturally luv xx

most annoying part of the job, bar none, is the self-censorship i have to exercise when a queasy person asks me what i do for work lmao

Naoji Uezono, a member of Unit 731, described in a 1980s interview a grisly scene where Yoshimura had "two naked men put in an area 40-50 degrees below zero and researchers filmed the whole process until [the subjects] died. [The subjects] suffered such agony they were digging their nails into each other's flesh." Yoshimura's lack of remorse was evident in an article he wrote for the Japanese Journal of Physiology in 1950 in which he admitted to using 20 children and a three-day-old infant in experiments which exposed them to zero-degree-Celsius ice and salt water. Although this article drew criticism, Yoshimura denied any guilt when contacted by a reporter from the Mainichi Shimbun.

hello???????

i’m bewildered never to have heard of this sh*t

just learned about Unit 731 and wtf?????

Dow futures sharply dive down, crude oil future sharply jump up around 8-9pm

I like it how you can see the time when Trump's speech occured

$20 might seem steep for a one-way commute to work, and that’s because it most certainly is, but don’t worry: you’re also definitely going to be 10 minutes late. That’s the Uber promise.

“you should consider voluntary euthanasia”

craziest euphemism i’ve ever heard 😭

My teen, who had dreamt of being an astrophysicist, just told me he wants to go to law school because, “Science isn’t going to be a priority in the US in the future…I don’t want a job where I’ll be constantly worried my funding will be taken away.”

Gutting. How many future scientists have we lost?

it’s giving silly

this (offsite) and a mandatory webinar 🤌🏻🤌🏻

fastest way to guarantee that i’ll make a mistake in the future is to give me exasperation and attitude whenever i ask for clarification, because i won’t be asking for it again 😌

i truly cannot fathom exhibiting obvious frustration toward somebody because of their asking questions when uncertain lmao

i paid almost a third of what i made on this 8-hour shift just for rides to/from work :) i’m so very tired :)

boots

umm, yeah i'm gonna use Chromatic Orb. what's not to use?

i built an entire x86 CPU emulator in CSS (no javascript)

you can write programs in C, compile them to x86 machine code with GCC, and run them inside CSS

lyra.horse/x86css/

Pëtę Hêğséțħ, as an individual, is a misappropriation of organic material

and i will

y'all are having babies or whatever; i'm just trynna pop these pimpi

hey just a reminder that LinkedIn is really fake and really weird

after 30+ years of being a NICU nurse (i.e., a literal hero), my mom just graduated with her BSN 🥹🥹

this is really quite nifty