"I went to Walmart" is the keystone to this hot take.

So if it's wagging the dog when you start a war to make people forget about Epstein what's it's called when you want to bring up Epstein so people forget about the war?

Dog the Wag?

www.thedailybeast.com/there-can-on...

Pope Leo Reportedly Unlikely to Visit US After Trainwreck Trump Admin Meeting Pope Leo XIV may never visit the U.S. under the Trump administration following a disastrous meeting between the Pentagon and a Vatican diplomat.

I’m jealous of the Pope. I wish I could get a job overseas where I wouldn't have to come back here.

www.mediaite.com/media/news/p...

Playing cards with Trump:

Well, thanks Donald. Good game. I won so let me collect the pot...

Say I won.

Huh? No, you didn't win.

Say I won you crazy bastard or I'll destroy everything you love!

Do I get to keep all that I won?

I dont care. Just say I won.

Ok, you won. Thanks for the money.

Hopefully the Artemis commander's first comment on getting back to Earth isn't "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

Call me crazy but if I didn't have nukes and really had no desire to have them but I kept getting bombed and threatened with nuclear annihilation, I'd probably start thinking "Maybe I do need nukes."

Desperate Trump, 79, Threatens to Kill Entire Civilization in Insane Last-Minute Panic Trump fired off a bloodthirsty threat as his deadline looked destined to pass without a deal being struck.

It may be a bit early to make predictions but I’m starting to think Trump may not win the Nobel Peace Prize this year.

www.thedailybeast.com/desperate-tr...

Trump seeks $152M to rebuild Alcatraz as ‘state-of-the-art secure prison’ President Trump is seeking $152 million from Congress as part of his push to reopen Alcatraz prison near San Francisco to house violent federal criminals.     The request, included i…

Putting aside how fucking stupid this is, it amazes how building a maximum security prison is less expensive than filming Kristi Gnome riding a horse.

thehill.com/homenews/adm...

That's really unfortunate timing Hoka

Pete Hegseth lifts suspension of Kid Rock Army helicopter flyby crews after Trump comments Kid Rock is a prominent supporter of President Donald Trump and performed at the 2024 Republican National Convention.

I hope this gets added to the impeachment trial. It's tiny compared to other things but at the same time is so corrupt and dangerous. It says that there are no consequences if you do the bidding of Trump, Kegseth and their sycophants.

www.cnbc.com/2026/03/31/k...

"Steiner's attack was an order!!"

I was thinking about horror movies and whether there have ever been any that scared me to the point of changing how I live my life.

Well I thought of one: the log truck scene in Final Destination 2. I will run a church van full of puppies off the road if it means not being behind a log truck.

Anytime I hear a politician referred to as an "architect" it's usually followed right after by "the Final Solution."

Less trustworthy than "a different authoritarian theocracy."

‘We Did Iwo Jima, We Can Do This!’ Lindsey Graham Calls on Trump to ‘Take Kharg Island’ Lindsey Graham said the U.S. should seize Kharg Island, which has been described as "the point of departure for approximately 90 percent of Iran’s oil exports."

We did indeed take Iwo Jima...after a bloodbath where 7000 Marines and 20000 Japanese died.

Fucking bloodthirsty moron.

www.mediaite.com/media/news/w...

If billions of people hate you, the problem may not be them as much as it's you.

‘19 Kids and Counting’ Star Accused of Child Sex Abuse The case adds to past controversies surrounding the Duggar family from the TLC series “19 Kids and Counting.”

Turns out the "19 kids" in the title was actually a running count of their victims.

www.thedailybeast.com/19-kids-and-...

Doesn't seem BubbaBabyJesusWayne Mullins had too good of a day.

He was talking to the 45th President.

Regarding the SAVE Act, who is more likely to have access to their passport and birth certificate: educated people voting Dem or trailer park denizens wearing red hats with a 6th grade education? Independent women who kept their last names or MAGA evangelical women submitting to their husbands?

One bright spot about the Trump Presidency: no one uses "-Gate" after every scandal anymore. If you tried to, you'd just be walking around going "Gate, gate, gate, gate" all the time like a crazy person.

People seem confused by Trump claiming that a previous President told him they wished they had gone to war with Iran.

It's really easy: it was the 45th President.

So fucking ISIS attacked ODU?

Nice work Ka$h, you fucking moron.

I keep seeing people ask about the 25th Amendment.

Guys. His entire Cabinet is walking around in shoes that don’t fit because they’re scared to take them off.

The 25th is never happening.

Are we allowed to get the rest of the Epstein files now?

Any Dem Senator that votes to confirm BubbaBruceWayne should be run out of town on a rail.

Markwayne - when you're not sure which one of your cousins is the dad.

I guarantee that American billionaires have stolen more money from the taxpayers of the US this week than every Somali in Minnesota ever.

Think how nice the USA would be if Israel had an agenda to implement universal healthcare and free higher education.