They should take the characters from the Mortal Kombat movies and make it into a video game where players have to fight each other and finish with a gory cinematic move after they win

The cashier said "have a good one" and I said "which one" and we just stared at each other as I slowly backed away

ooh busted!

a guinea pig wearing a pirate hat with skulls and crossbones on it ALT: a guinea pig wearing a pirate hat with skulls and crossbones on it

as a mouse you're allowed to take as much content as you want from the House of Mouse

Belly - Now They'll Sleep (Video) YouTube video by Warner Records

One of the most underrated albums of the '90s.

Belly - Now They'll Sleep
#90sAlt #music

Yes right angles only or nothing at all is how I do bizness

Chicago dog! I miss the sport peppers.

a post liked by Wil Wheaton

Excuse me, who??

would you say that I ask too many leading questions?

My greatest professional skill is never circling back when someone says let's circle back

I have the same problem with my left nut which is why I offer to give it away for something I really want

a grocery receipt showing total charge of $420.69

Nice

Do NOT look up how many times I have googled "is this normal"

riffin with your alt LOL😆

pretty much all cakes are baked in a pan, except for one that is cooked on a griddle, and yet that is the only one referred to as a “pancake”. explain that mr vocabularian

What if this whole excursion to Iran is just a ploy of Big Green Energy to force us to be woke?

I thought drinking on the job was a requirement for this admin

Thrilled to announce my new subscription service where I text you a photo of whatever I'm eating. The price is going up next month whether or not you are enjoying it.

Pharrell vs Jamiroquai in a hat-off
The winner to represent earth in an interplanetary version of eurovision, but with hats.
Hat.

If you ask for extra spicy at Panda Express do they serve you red pandas or just the regular b&w ones with Szechuan sauce on them?

Awww 😍 now I kinda want a big cow plushie

Normalizing leaving the party at the exact moment you said you would

Perhaps but hey if they help you sleep better I don't see the harm. I might give you a little side eye tho 👀

I agree with the sentiment. Not sure about the pillowmaxing strategy however

Hmm... that would count as a pillow then as it would take up a similar amount of space and I hope this isn't going where I think it's going

At some point less is more, one would think

Valid excuse 😂

Depends on the size maybe?