Ted is an American treasure.

The newest trend!

That they’ve been trying to sell us for at least twelve years already.

You think the Give A Mouse A Cookie franchise is out of ideas, and then they surprise you with a banger.

I meant discovery, of course.

According to that filing, it seems like everything is going AS PLANNED! Quick question: he knows that there’s like disclosure, right? Certainly he knows that.

So, over the weekend, Kash Patel said he was going to file a lawsuit against The Atlantic today. Was just wondering how that was going for him. Good? Great? Better than great?

That duck knows what it did.

Same company. Did five different things (it still had the ball point pen).

It 100% does not look like a dick and balls even slightly.

Wait, I know the answer! I know which ones!

If anybody says Ds and Rs are the same, ask them which Rs would do this. At any level, let alone president and mayor.

Photo of a truck with a logo that says “His Hands” over a fish logo and underneath “plumbing services.”

You know what they say, “When you have plumbing problems, call a carpenter.”

For the first time in over 50 years, humans flew around the Moon. That didn't happen by accident. It happened because thousands of people committed to doing something hard. That's what America can achieve when we put differences aside and work together. Let's remember that.

Fuck him up, Socrates.

This is amazing.

Now more relevant than ever!

It’s already there, hugging the golden curtains.

Oh, I’m sorry. Were we talking about the Just War Doctrine? Maybe I’ll just leave this here (source: BBC).

A cartoon by B. Kliban showing Jesus speaking to a group of people. Behind him are his disciples, all with haloes over their heads. One of them is pushing a beggar away with two hands while saying, “Hey! Don’t fuck around with the Prince of Peace!”

This Kliban great came to mind today, probably apropos of nothing.

He pulls a single tile out of a Scrabble bag and cannot come home until he has acquired at least part of an animal that begins with that letter.

A Shemp for All Seasons?

Here’s a feed cleanser.
Dogs catching treats.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-1977)

graffiti on an overpass pylon reading Kevin is a slut for Taco Bell

no judgment

I saw Queen twice in the ‘80s for a total of $20.75. The fee added was 50 cents for each ticket. 1/20th of the ticket price.

Went to a concert not too long ago where the “ticket fee” was $100. Essentially doubling the price of the ticket. They’re not even physically printing tickets.

Fuck ‘em up, Zohran.

BREAKING: A jury has found Live Nation and Ticketmaster to be an illegal monopoly that overcharges fans.

After the federal government settled the case, 34 states kept pursuing the giant ticket and concert company.

Now, the states have won.

Yeah, Mackenzie Scott is a fascinating case. She is literally ignoring the SOPs of philanthropy in order to give away wealth as quickly and efficiently as possible and she’s still getting richer. At her level it is impossible not to make money. Tax billionaires, A LOT.

Yes please!