I'll post again in 6 months

foreman left me in charge of his house again so I'm going to frame him for murder

me on twitter: I will literally kill your grandfather

me on bluesky: can you believe the price of rugs?!

I made the mistake of wanting a rug and a couch and I've looked into how much I can get for certain organs

would you like a rug? okay that's 3 million dollars please

there's always a man upset I'm in charge at work and they aren't and idk what to tell them but the men that have tried me at every turn have failed, but they're welcome to give it a go

is sick

waking up and my back hurts is so annoying. you turn 30 and they just turn off the bones in your body

girl same

went to target today and a baby was in there just absolutely screaming the entire time. I wanted to be like baby you're in target! get a coffee, settle in! it'll be fine! but not my baby.

beautiful

I always want a completely unattainable snack right before bed

this is the most italian thing I've seen in my life

I also built a bat cave and ordered fake blood at work so we could stage a crime scene so honestly life is pretty good rn

I built my cat a tent 4 days ago and he's been in it ever since. it's like I don't even exist anymore

I want to like over here as much as the bird app but it's too nice. going from a junk drawer to the utensil draw from ikea you can't slam that has all the dividers is wild. nobody says pussy enough over here either. idk not for me? we'll see, more soon

you can have a selfie too just this once

I guess I'll come back over here and look around a little

this is one of my favorite videos of all time

wrapping gifts is my least favorite activity. I hate it so much. I behave like I'm being told to saw off my own arm

no one follows me on here so I can say this and just go about my day. someone should fuck one of the drones.

@jamesforeman.bsky.social talking all that shit and here you are on the butterfly app you raggedy bitch you

I like when it snows a little snow. a dusting if you will. like some powdered sugar on the funnel cake.

this will be my birthday cake

accidentally found this account on google the other day that's a little raptor who reviews things and I have been so obsessed ever since

the amount of times I have watched the movie clue should be a crime

I don't feel like I'm going to go out of my way to refollow everyone from twitter. if they find me they find me ya know?

do not put me in any starter packs that do not mention shrimp, ominous aura, or murder she wrote. it's pointless otherwise

thank you I just bought it and it'll be my personality for at least 2 more weeks