Ashley, you almost hit me with the wrecking ball three times.

“Hm…”

Well, considering he’d never seen the dreaded burger in person, and the burgers from Raccoon City were ancient artifacts now, he could really go for one of those…

“I doubt he’d notice a couple bucks missing. I could go for a burger. Maybe a milkshake too.”

“What? No. I was offering you mine.”

He’s tapping her shoulder with his fist, scoffing.

“It’s only fair. Your dad’s the president — he’s probably got money to spare.”

“Yeah? Don’t get your hopes up Miss Moneybags. Best I can do is a bottle of water and maybe some ABC gum.”

Same for him. It’s only every so often that they get to see each other — might as well make the most of every encounter.

— say no to a break if it was offered to him.

“Yeah. They don’t exactly put that on the box though, do they? ‘Not recommended for victims of kidnapping’.

We can take a load off somewhere. Give your feet a break.”

Thankfully, Leon had boots that were designed for hiking. So his feet weren’t nearly as aching as hers were. But.. he wouldn’t —

He could say the same. At least that way if there was danger, he’d have her to scream and point it out to him.

“Yeah? It’s probably those shoes. Fancy, sure, but not exactly made for walking. Makes you think, huh?”

“I’ll be fine. The card was a gift anyway.”

He shrugs, his hands hanging lazily at his sides — as per usual when he wasn’t working. He had finally gotten out of the habit of standing at the ready constantly.

“I’ve gotten used to walking long distances.”

He’s taking it in hand, nodding. He then stuffed it back into his pocket, returning her smile, if only slightly.

“Yeah. Almost lost 4 dollars and a gas station gift card.”

Asly 🤗

“Heroic wannabe type. Sure.”

He took note of the fangs… but said nothing.

“You wanted to preserve your life’s work, right? Claire told me the whole sad story. I saw those tapes, too. Of you taking the virus.”

“Yeah. Though, she didn’t get nuked. That’s easier to explain.”

He’s not making any sudden movements. He operates more off retaliation in close quarters anyway.

“Yeah. I’d be working at a desk in the police station if it weren’t for your little experiments though.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time. You’re the second dead person from Raccoon City to come back to life.”

He folded his arms over his body, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I’m between missions.”

“Not what I meant.”

He looked him up and down. That was definitely Birkin — he recognized his face.

“You’re the last person I expected to see.”

Who the fuck

He’s just. Standing there before being thrown back onto his feet.

“Don’t do /that/.”

SCREAMING INTERNALLY?? KICKING HIM IN THE FACE —

Yeah

No but like in society

Believe me we get a lot of those where I’m from

Now watch this. They don’t know that I know that they don’t know that I know

We can go back to my house

Let me put you on ( has never seen Rick and Morty )

☹️?

Dude that sucks. Have you ever seen “Rick and Morty”

Somebody’s got no sense of humor