With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

Greatest. Correction. Ever.

"Sure, but I don't know where you're gonna get a bag of 'em" might be the funniest line read I've seen in decades.

Bluesky Hall of Fame nominee right here

Welp, now everyone's going to call Barbra Streisand "Babs." When will she learn?

"At the end of the day, it's bigger than me. The things that are going through makes people uncomfortable, imagine how (Palestinians) feel?" he said. "That's the biggest thing. I have no affiliation, no connection, to these people - other than the fact that I am a human being. If you have a heart and you're a human being, and you see what's going on in this world, you check yourself real quick. "I'm sitting here crying about football when there's people dying every single day." Al-Shaair is the Texans' 2025 Walter Payton Man of the Year nominee.

Quite a quote from Texans LB Azeez Al-Shaair, who was asked about his STOP THE GENOCIDE eye black after today’s game

www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

I’m the one in the brown hat.

What you might not see is the victim in the car. His feet are pointing out the open car door. An agent is sitting on one of his legs. He’s only wearing crocs.

Bystanders found his legal work visa in his abandoned car.

#AbolishICE

This is what happened in our neighborhood yesterday. ICE snatched a human being off of our streets, roughed them up badly, and then pepper sprayed legal observers as they documented it all. This is a daily occurrence happening all throughout Minnesota right now.

wikipedia turns 25 today! the last unenshittified major website! backbone of online info! triumph of humanity! powered by urge of unpaid randos to correct each other! somehow mostly reliable! "good thing wikipedia works in practice, because it sure doesn't work in theory" - old wiki adage

Introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen multiple times

Anthrax
Fear Factory
Steve Miller Band
Jason Mraz
Rusted Root

Tell him the leader is Queen Antifa

Buy a vowel? In THIS economy??

Sports Hank Williams Jr. Honored By Institute For Football Preparedness Share Published: October 31, 2001

Good excuse to post my favourite Onion headline.

What in the world is Earring Magic Ken

AAUP President: “Higher Ed Alone Cannot Save Democracy” More than a year into his presidency of the American Association of University Professors—including nearly seven months of Trump’s targeting of universities—Todd Wolfson is calling for a “multisector”...

"In the McCarthy era, the attacks on academic freedom were attacks on individual faculty and demands for loyalty oaths and those sorts of attacks on individuals, not on institutions...in the current moment, academic freedom is under its most fundamental attack we’ve ever seen." @aaup.org #HigherEd

When UPS and FedEx trucks drive past each other on neighborhood streets, it should be required by law that they can throw water balloons at each other.

Just don't get it a la mode

Riot Grrl energy with some serious guitar chops.

ONE WEEK TILL “TALK ABOUT IT” (AUGUST 1ST) 🎸❤️🥁@Jake Knecht TikTok video by Emi Grace

This Emi Grace release is gonna be fantastic.

www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6kNWsGJ/

Ty! Olive Dames is my fav of the bunch

Moonshine Betties
Sugar Grits
The Wilds
Calamity Jayne
The Olive Dames (look up Olive Dame Campbell)

Opinion | Don’t call it ‘Alligator Alcatraz.’ Call it a concentration camp. This facility’s purpose fits the classic model, and its existence points to serious dangers ahead for the country.

I wrote about how the Everglades experiment fits into the history of concentration camps in the US and abroad, and how it will connect a domestic network of camps to an international one. We’re watching the imposition of a global concentration camp network.

Also, it is expensive and hard to be one of the only places left not normalizing ICE, valorizing warmongering, or generally kissing the ring of a mad despot.

Subscribing to The Onion helps us do stuff like this.

membership.theonion.com

I once avoided disaster by declining a date with someone who suggested seeing "The Passion of the Christ" as a DATE movie.

Babe don’t laugh this is XM Sirius

I called everyone in Jeffrey Epstein's little black book. What I learned about rich people, conspiracy, Ghislaine, stand-up comedy, and evil from 2,000 phone calls.

Just gonna leave this here...

"One of the great things about our system of education is that it attracts people from all over the world who want to come to America to learn. And while they’re here learning, they learn about our country, our values, our freedoms." Wesleyan University President Michael Roth on CBS Face the Nation.

Watching all these fellow Gen Xers posting about being locked out of the house and drinking from hoses and how independent and tough they had to be and I'm just "fuck, sorry about your abusive childhood, you know that wasn't all of us, right?"

So, as you might know, I have been in the process of tracking the activities of DOGE staff across the federal government. And now I've built an auto-updating website to browse the data

It's not done (lots more content to write), but news is moving fast, so here it is dogetrack.info

Enjoy!

Oh