I Do Dream of Labor, Actually Last week, my congregation and I went outside to work in the garden. It was one of those days that felt a little bit perfect. A bit of sunshine in the midst of the chaos. We used different tools, but ...

New Substack, up now

The Digital Panopticon The cost of never being alone is steep. Are we still willing to pay it?

New Substack out now

open.substack.com/pub/preacher...

Spamming pictures of Diogenes and his plucked chicken in the comments of transphobes because they are too stupid to get it and it makes them mad.

Men, I stg you need to eat something that is not beige. There is no reason for you to be taking as long in public shitters as yall take.

What the fuck is this? Wrong answers only.

Conservatives- Drag queens are so scandalous and sexual!

Drag Queen- *Comes onstage dressed as a literal lawnmower*

Guy- *Burns down a warehouse*

Every Appalachian Writer- This is our time to shine. We have been preparing our entire lives for this.

Idk why Chamel Abdulkarim isn’t being hailed the same way Luigi Mangione was. Especially by Appalachians. Bro did something based and literally hurt NO ONE. Only thing that got hurt was same toilet paper. Some of yalls ancestors would be ashamed of you.

ohiomemory.ohiohistory.org/archives/216

Honestly, we should have known it would get to this point the moment that the opinions of someone named “CatTurd” started being taken seriously as political commentary

I highly recommend “The anti greed gospel”. It puts forth the idea that systemic racism was created as a result of greed. That justification was needed to ensure certain people were always sources of free or cheap labor.

The ass zit is capitalism, btw

Living in America rn feels like having a giant ass zit that you are waiting to pop.

“We can’t just have a normal time, can we? Everything’s always gotta be bananners.”

- My wife @appalachian-hijabi.bsky.social

If you say “Christ is King”, you’re probably gonna start talking about western civilization soon after.

If you say “Christ is king” I know you’re about to show me that umbrella picture

Ladies if you ever meet a “Christ is King” Christian, cover your drink.

“He is Risen” fine.
“God is Love” very cool.
“Christ is King” I’m taking my family and we are leaving.

I’m a Christian, but if y’all say “Christ is King” I’m never leaving my wife or children alone with you. Never met a “Christ is King” Christian that didn’t give off Duggar Diddler vibes.

Pay Them No Mind Three years ago I made the active decision to not cater to straight and cis people in my ministry. It is one of the best decisions I've ever made.

open.substack.com/pub/preacher...

Y’all are all “Back the Blue” and “You have nothing to worry about if you’re doing nothing wrong” until you got a cop behind you on a 25mph road.

Me to the cis- I love all trans people. All trans people are my siblings in Christ. I will defend them to the death and if you say an unkind word to any of them, you will be my eternal enemy. I will fight you to the gates of hell themselves.

Me to other trans people- God y’all are fuckin annoying.

“Drag queens are so sexual and scantily clad!”

Sir, I assure you, there is an entire mattress between you and that drag queen.

In keeping with his tradition of stealing Bell Hooks’ book titles, JD Vance’s next memoir will be titled “The will to Change (for fame, power, and Peter Thiel’s money)”

Right!? That’s the actual sin here.

I’m writing on Substack a lot because sometimes I can’t stand to hear the sound of my own voice.

Schrödinger’s Titties Sissies and other cross dressing fetishists have long been a contentious topic in the transgender community. Maybe it's finally time to talk about it.

open.substack.com/pub/preacher...

TMZ is not the hero we wanted, but honestly, it’s the hero we deserve.

Goddamn, how many nieces and nephews does Jessica Fletcher have!? #murdershewrote