The cocktails at this vacation spot are so expensive because they just really don’t want to have to make them for you #france

Meme of John Mulaney on stage saying, “And I said, ‘Promise?’”

It! Doesn’t! Know! Anything!!!!

Thank god our downstairs neighbor is a very cheerful elderly woman who I can only assume is also quite hard of hearing

My husband and I each only have one much younger sibling, so witnessing our kids (8, 6, almost 4) play is insane. Like they’re all always having the time of their lives slash nearly killing each other.

Jealous!

This is insane

You may have guessed that I really need a haircut. You would be correct.

*two guys watching videos full volume

I’m waiting in a barbershop, and there is a tv on with music playing, one guy watching videos full volume on his phone, and another guy on FaceTime (also full volume)

But with mafalda corta pasta! Ngl I think it’s an upgrade ☺️

Spaghetti With Ramps The pungent garlic notes in ramps make them the perfect accompaniment for any pasta dish.

I made this tonight, and it’s soooo good www.bonappetit.com/recipe/spagh...

Also their (our) brains are completely broken re: taxes

Americans’

Americans top priority is the ability to acquire cheap shit, and a lot of it

A little evening ride home on a beautiful spring night

Excerpt from the article that reads, “When Orene Kearn and her husband bought their six-bedroom Hillsborough home in 1994, they stretched their budget to make it work. That early bet on the Bay Area housing market paid off so well, they now say they’re stuck in their home. Kearn, 69, declined to share what she paid for the house, but said current estimates put the value at more than quadruple that original price. Her son has long moved out, and Kearn said they might have downsized already, but given the huge appreciation in their home’s value, the taxes on the profits they’d make if they sold would be astronomical — and it’s the main reason they’re not moving.”

Quick hit of rage bait this morning www.sfgate.com/california/a...

Families in Tehran are taping up their windows and sleeping together in rooms away from the glass. Their buildings have already been shaken by nightly explosions from the most sustained bombing in the capital since the eight years of the Iran-Iraq war. Some are rushing to buy generators, concerned that new attacks could cause critical services like electricity and water to unravel. The bombings and threats have left many Iranians living in fear not only of their own government, which killed thousands of people in a crackdown on protesters early this year, but their would-be American rescuers, who pledged at the beginning of the war to create the conditions for their government to fall. A 43-year-old woman living in Tehran and undergoing treatment for breast cancer said she worried what intensified attacks on infrastructure could mean for her healthcare.

We are terrorizing an entire country.

www.wsj.com/world/middle...

Wow

Oh and don’t forget to do your taxes 🙃

Lol what

Sickos meme

The real greatest generation

There is a great synergy between having a pixie haircut and biking everywhere —> helmet hair = perfectly styled

Our favorite foods:

8yo: pesto tortellini
6yo: pears and pepperoni pizza
3yo: bread and butter
@chrisunits.bsky.social: kouign amann
Me: cold noodles

Waiting in line for kids face painting is my personal hell

The number of people who did this to drop off and pick up their kids from school everyday drove me nuts

Blue juice box that has “mini tropico saveur orange & ananas” written on it with pictures of orange and pineapple slices and a colorful parrot

3yo: what does the juice taste like?
Me: it says oranges and pineapple
Her: and bird!

CPAM wants an apostille’d birth certificate whyyyyyyy 😭

They deserve each other

Most of the Spidey songs were written by Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy, so you are very much not alone