Three people at work told me I look like Billy eichner. No hate to him but I’m going to walk into traffic

Every time I open an app it’s like “congratulations! We’ve installed a new stupid ass piece of bullshit that no one wants or needs or asked for! Share with your friends that we’ve already spammed!”

In Jesus name, we gay

Schizophrenic neighbor just slammed on the wall, opened the front door and screamed “I can hear your fucking alarm how dare you”. Bitch the alarm was YOU. No one sets an alarm for 6:53

Gay people became super mutants

There’s a millennial ghost in my house and it won’t shut up about harry potter 😔

It’s always “the next big thing” without describing exactly how big or how trapezoidal

This is NOT woke 2.0. Leave this shit behind

Tony Blair is my sleep paralysis demon

I’m about to Oedipiss myself

How I beat majoras mask as a kid I’ll never know. This was hard af

Are you going to valenwood this summer

If Romeo and Juliet had a baby what would they even name it? Jomeo or some sh?

Turns out she’s schizophrenic

Just one little difference. When Kirk got shot there was a government sponsored memorial with pyrotechnics. When other citizens get shot they don’t even condemn it.

Franch toast

The outfit I picked out for new years doesn’t fit even a little. Fucking vibe killer

The sphere steals your life energy unless your heart is free of “transgressions”

Downstairs neighbors are banging on the ceiling like I’m being loud but I haven’t moved from the couch in over 30 minutes

I do now

No

No

Working “bounce on it” into any sentence has had a chokehold on me today

Shut up and take my money

That’s it. I’m deleting South Carolina

Vowed to drug myself so I could sleep yet I’ve forgotten once again and have reached the end of the doom

I haven’t even seen wicked 2 yet and it’s also the only thing I can think about

Tonight’s banger dream was that I was living in a medieval castle as a medieval person until we fought a battle, we thought we had won, until AI powered androids forced everyone out

Just had a dream there was like this gooner gameshow thing at my apartment and now I have a business idea

What book