Lol at Republicans hitting the “C’mon I’m just a little guy” about partisan gerrymandering in 2026. Got a problem, take it up with your loudmouth idiot boss

His steel built the First Transcontinental Railroad

Fred from Scooby-Doo unmasking the bad guy at the end of a mystery, in two frames. First frame: Left side: a tied up man in a white featureless mask with eye holes. The caption over him in impact font reads, "SOMETHING I USED TO LOVE SUCKS NOW" Right side of frame, Fred has his hand on the mask, about to pull it off. The caption on him reads, "LET'S SEE WHO'S BEHIND THIS." Second frame: The unmasked bad guy has a pencil thin curling mustache, a pointy nose, and dark hair, with a widow's peak. The caption on him reads, "PRIVATE EQUITY"

Evergreen

Void in a selfie wearing their glasses, their hair is up, they are wearing up and the background if blurred, their shirt is from @cola.baby

😜

Remember, Democrats have repeatedly advanced measures to ban partisan gerrymandering and Republicans have voted against them time after time.

This is the game Republicans wanted to play. OK, then.

This is horrific. I feel physically ill.

(Reposted with ALT text)

as it becomes clear that Yes has won in VA and gerrymandering will pass, a message to Republican voters:

you brought this on yourselves

you convinced the most fairness-obsessed, That Wouldn’t Be Fair-minded voters in the country to affirmatively vote to put you in the dumpster

you earned this

Brinner consisting of fried eggs, bacon and potatoes o'brian, not pictured the waffles or bacon

You know what time it is BRINNER THE DINNER OF CHAMPIONS.....not pictured the toast or waffles

The Onion wants to make us submissive slaves to the New world order.

Correct.

Pretty neat to see a big, original single-player game do so well. Fun game so long as you never ever read any discussion about it on the internet ever.

Laughing at the idea that the "first order of business if Dems win House/Senate" should be to re-introduce the right-wing immigration bill Biden/Harris tried to run on in 2024 to take the immigration issue off the table by making a ton of concessions to the anti-immigration right.

iPod Classic 2,,,,,, the return of the clickwheel

My current Classic is almost 15 years old and barely chugging along.......I legit will cry when it dies

It would kill for Classic 2

Orange fluffy cat inside my car.

I have to go to work and this is not my cat.

Me in a rainbow top, beanie with rainbow ghosts, holding a rainbow Kuriboh plush surrounded by lesbian pride flag colored hearts

Happy Lesbian Visibility Week!
🧡🤍🩷💜
Let’s celebrate and uplift ALL lesbian identities including trans, butch, femme, non binary, asexual, genderqueer, disabled, neurodivergent… we all deserved to be seen and celebrated 🏳️‍🌈✨

Again: the political theory underpinning the democratic strategy was that there are more votes to be won from republican-leaning voters by tacking towards Trump on policy than lost from those to your left. This political theory turned out to be untrue. You can either learn from that or not.

Why would voters ever make a promise to a party. Why would that ever be the balance of power in anything but a cult.

The Infowars news is funny, yes. But more importantly, it is an outright rebuke of Alex Jones' evil.

It's testament to the strength and resilience of the Sandy Hook families who survived this bullshit for more than a decade as well as the Onion, which didn't give up on this for the last 18 months.

Reminder that most people who didn't vote in 2024 didn't do so out of a desire to "smash Democrats," so maybe it's really stupid to constantly attack people who didn't vote and constantly smear them. Just a thought! www.pewresearch.org/politics/202...

Join The Onion Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

Fun fact: The Onion's acquisition of Infowars was an almost 2-year long process that cost a shit ton of money.

Much more fun fact: You can show your appreciation by subscribing to the Onion for $9 a month AND get a print copy delivered right to your doorstep. membership.theonion.com

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

leftists are my greatest adversary because they are destroying america destroying america or being rude to you online? being rude to me online

liberals on this microblogging website

Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?

Faculty Defect From Texas Publics, Citing Censorship Fed up with the state’s censoring of Plato, Joan of Arc and Romeo and Juliet, humanities professors are leaving Texas public institutions in pursuit of academic freedom.

'Texas A&M philosophy professor Martin Peterson is leaving the university after administrators told him in January that he couldn’t teach Plato’s Symposium in his philosophy class; they said the ancient Greek philosopher’s work violated the system’s restrictions on gender and sexuality content.' 1/3

Cardi B, who is a big history buff, nerds out when she learns that Amy Carter brought her a signed copy of her father, the late President Jimmy Carter’s, book.

I'm not joking when I say mRNA technology is more important than "AI" and it's a tragedy we're throwing billions into one while our government is aggressively defunding the other.

palantir should be viewed as the enemy of modern society

trying to convince someone I don't have a drinking problem when I am literally currently drunk