Don't feel too bad, Pens fans. They're gonna be 2-0 on the analytics charts

Ahahahahahaha get bent

Hearing reports that a fourth, saltwater-filled river is forming in Allegheny County

making potatoes o'gratin

Did you get the wings?

Butter is cheese

My signature move

Homemade poke bowl

Some froufrou Trader Joe's noodles in a homemade Bolognese with a frankly concerning amount of parmesan on top

Been eating real good lately

Intellectually I always know my girlfriend is bilingual but she uses it so infrequently that when she answers the phone and immediately starts speaking in fluent Bengali I always think I'm having some sort of medical episode

Something remarkably similar to this actually happened at QVC and it caused one of their biggest outages of the decade

30+ notifications

I think the bluesky server issues reset my read notifications so when I opened the app and saw this I broke out in a cold sweat

The coffee place I used to live around the corner from had a special for a while that was "orange cold brew" so one time I ordered it and it was just cold brew with a bit of orange juice and an orange slice in it. It was awful and I think about it weekly

I need to severely limit how many screenshots I take of this game because at this rate it's going to be every single dialogue option

Disco Elysium is my favorite RPG ever approximately 13 seconds in

Politically conflicted because I voted for Kamala after being told she'd make gas prices skyrocket

A fun fact about me is that I'm a minor character in the decades long chain of events that led to the Bon Air fire department getting shut down for Proud Boys affiliation

$1500 in sales last night on my own, I no longer feel like I'm stealing valor to call myself a bartender

Giving my girlfriend's dog an extra scoop of food and winking at him like when I "forget" to put a beer on someone's tab

Why is everyone on this goddamn team Stanley Yelnats

Sick to my stomach that we're ruled by a bunch of guys who haven't had a neuron activate since Call of Duty: Modern Warfare came out

I don't think it's actually a bad idea to require a sitting president to kill themselves to initiate a nuclear strike

Call out three things from the syllabus, quote the most salient point the professor made the whole class, click submit, and never think about it again

The Owlbulance was up for sale a few years ago and I thought long and hard about it

I voted for Harris and now wish I'd stayed home

Totally understand. Glad you had a good time!

Hit me up next time!

Go owls

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of riling the dog up but he's the one trying to rile me up