I'd let the duck in, no doubt about it.

Tomorrow will be my 2,648th Monday and, frankly, I'm over this shit.

not a fan of Werther's but these things are pretty awesome too

I don't care what you say, these sumbitches are some of the best candies on the market.

Me and who?

Hey, fuck this movie. Fuck every *frame* of this movie! Don't get me wrong, really interesting concept and really well executed but...yeah, still fuck this entire thing.

8/10, would recommend

My spirit animal is a rotisserie chicken.

$91 and change to fill up my truck yesterday. Guess I'm not driving much in the next couple of weeks. I don't know how I'd make it if I still had to go into the office every day.

when it happens, I'm posting hole

just warning you all now.

Is...is it sleepwalked or sleptwalked?

Either way, I hate it

I think I need to delete TikTok

Goddamn

Ever hear those stories about some guy who has a wife/house/kid but it turns out they're leading a double life and have a completely separate wife/house/kid somewhere else?

How tf do they have the time/money/energy for that all that shit? Seriously, how do they pull that off?

Ffs, it's non-stop. We get it, we need to do taxes but stfu about it already!

Please. Please let all the tax return commercials end after today. Please, I can't take it anymore.

Full English breakfast vs. full American breakfast.

Whatever you do, dont concentrate on how your tongue feels funny in your mouth and how it doesn't seem to fit quite right.

That would be weird, so don't do that.

Wait, so are they pilots of a stone temple or are they temple pilots who are made of stone?

Done. Not perfect but good enough for me.

Whaddya call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalottapuss

Whaddya call a lesbian dinosaur wearing a strap-on?

Pegasaurus

Better.

Dear The UK,

What in the ever-loving fuck is a 'digestive biscuit'?

Sincerely,

The US

What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?

A 'fizz'ician.

I dunno, man. Maybe...maybe after all this time what we actually need is *less* cowbell.

Has anyone considered that?

Breaking in the new fire pit. Not quite done yet but we're getting there. And I wasn't gonna wait any longer to use it.

2nd row of blocks may come off as I think it's too tall.

That would be nice

K