In case anyone is wondering, "Somebody set us up the bomb" died peacefully in their sleep a while ago, dancing baby grew up, and Clippy got sent to a farm upstate to help collate subsidy forms.
Remember to hold your loved ones close in the MySpace top 8 of your rapidly obsolete hearts.
Chuck Norris is dead, which means that somewhere he’s touting the magic of MAGA and looking up at us all.
Once the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Banana and the concept of Bacon pass on, we’ll have no more surviving icons of a pre-broadband internet.
Truly makes you think.
Personally, I think it’s reassuring that England decided that animals weren’t capable of noncing or being cancelled.
However, part of me is now duty-bound to try and cancel squirrels or something. We could at least shrub hedgehogs from the plans.
News release Images of the UK's wildlife are to feature on the next series of banknotes following a public consultation run by the Bank of England. The nature theme received the highest proportion of nominations in last year's consultation, as well as support in focus groups commissioned by the Bank. Within the nature theme, much of the feedback from respondents referred to wildlife that is native to the UK. The Bank has also judged that wildlife images would be most effective for developing banknotes with security features that are easy for the public to recognise and distinguish. For more than 50 years, the Bank has proudly showcased many inspirational historical figures who have helped shape national thought, innovation, leadership and values on its banknotes. The change to wildlife imagery, supported by the public consultation and feedback, provides an opportunity to celebrate another important aspect of the UK. The Bank will run a second consultation this summer to gather the public's views on the specific wildlife they would like to feature on the next series of banknotes. The new series may also incorporate other elements from nature, such as plants and landscapes, to complete the design. A panel of wildlife experts from across the UK will help to create a list of wildlife for the public to choose from. This list will be announced as part of the summer consultation, which is when the Bank will next be seeking to hear from the public.
From The Simpsons episode “Last Exit to Springfield” (Season 4, Episode 17), Grandpa Abe Simpson is telling Mr Burns a long story that doesn’t go anywhere. Specifically he’s at the part of the story where he says “In those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. “Give me give bees for a quarter!” you’d say.”
We’ve never been closer to our dream of utopia.
Next on Jubilee, I’m a British Museum owner, and I’m surrounded by twenty countries that want their artefacts back!
Statement 1: “My family would really like our Ankh back.”
Okay, easy. No :)
People are loving that post you just made. They’re saying kino, they’re shouting sugoi, they’re calling it based.
They’re shortlisting it for post of the year. They’re making a trophy.They’re planning to take your hand and tongue-kiss you under the moon’s pale twilight because you posted so good.
Me: Fellas, is it a bad sign when during your ADHD assessment the person asks “would you say you talk excessively?" and then laughs Best friend: I feel like the best response is, "No actually I'd like to talk even more than this" Me: I should have said that Instead I laughed at her laughing and we collectively laughed for two or three minutes and I went "what do you think?" Best friend: Hah yeah that works too. Me: Anyway yes I have severe adhd
To give you an idea of where I’m at mentally, I went to joke “I can add a little u into my ADHD label, as a treat” only to remember that I was diagnosed with autism first, ruining the joke.
My co-workers all did an amazing job on this, so please appreciate it.
The player actually controls the jacket and must swap between characters in order to solve puzzles, necessitating them persuading others to borrow the jacket or take it off.
TYVMJT
A headline from the Onion saying “34-year-old asks for big piece”.
Me today 🥳
Repacking Evil M4d. Is this anything?
The last paragraph of this is so hilariously devastating that script writers would be told the joke was too on the nose. Anyway, the section says: Sturgeon addressed Rowling's 2022 t-shirt "stunt" in her memoir. According to U.K. LGBTQ+ outlet PinkNews, she writes in Frankly that Rowling's involvement marked a turning point after which "rational debate" over the reform bill became impossible. "Any hope of finding common ground disappeared,"Sturgeon writes. "It seems blindingly obvious that a stunt like that was never going to elevate the debate or illuminate the issues at the heart of it." True to form, Rowling posted a snide response to reports of the quotes from Sturgeon's memoir on Monday, offering to "review" the book free of charge for British newspapers as long as they agreed not to "edit out the swear words." The following day, she posted that followers should watch for her review of Frankly on her website.
Feel bad for my freelancing friends, apparently it’s so dire out there even JK Rowling can’t get a paid commission.
Writing and skeeting this hours before I go to a networking event is certainly a choice I will look back on.
So glad I don’t have a foot fetish.
My anxiety is bad enough when friends don’t respond within two hours, I’d literally die if I got left on read after horny DM’ing “ayyo lemme get a look at them leg hands 😋💦🦶”
Sorry, I know you thought it was over, but Casio-pier namesearched on Branchscale and found your post.
Crantz Crandlecrantz has already lassoed your comment on Tringle so everyone has to horseshoe it before they can scroll, and Pat Percer is theorycrafting what it could all mean for jinglenote.
you're literally buttholecore. you should work on nicepersonmaxxing
IPSOS LGBT+ Pride Report 2025. A 26-country IPSOS global advisor survey. June 2025.
Three true stats missing from this report:
- 74% of Britons do not know whether it is rabbit season or duck season
- 37% have, quote, “bricked up” at Bugs Bunny in a dress
- 53% of Britons have run into a painted wall because they previously saw the Road Runner use it to speed into the horizon
I have been affected by the recent restructures at Bethesda, After an amazing 8 years i am on the lookout for new opportunities in Community, Marketing, and beyond. Slide into those DM's for a chat.
It's been an incredible run. Very proud of what was achieved.
What if your name was Derrick Barsoul but you had no arsehole?
Happy birthday
Donald DRUMPF and FELON Musk do NOT want you to share this footage of me throwing up after eating three burritos!
Wouldn’t it be a shame if this went as viral as the stomach bug I currently have?
Bowser Jr is looking back unfavourably at a Toad in a police car.
😤 ACAB 👏 INCLUDES 👏 TOAD 👏😤
Milhouse split into three.
What’s it like Bill? Bill? Bill?
HAPPY FRIDAY! This evening, I ask you to focus on... sailors fighting in the dancehall. (Oh man, look at those cavemen go.) 😀
Charlie Brown is falling through the air after Lucy has pulled the football away from him. Charlie Brown is labelled “me”, Lucy is labelled “also me” and the football is labelled “somehow also me”.
Made this for my therapist. Today was a good session.
comic by me Solidus: “do you know what day it is today?” Raiden pauses Raiden: “wed… wednesday?”
comic by me Solidus: “do you know what day it is today?” Raiden can be seen shuffling and looking down Solidus: “ARE YOU GOOGLING IT?”
more april 30 comics
Twitter: Here’s 24 reasons why Easter now means you can say the N word
Facebook: This blatantly fake AI rendering of a 94 year old grandma made a giant Easter egg in the hopes of 6000 shares!
Threads: I just learned that Trump got elected. Here’s how this will affect the rest of your 2017 (1/56)
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also...
