Hello Dragons, I am asking for one billion pounds not because I have a product you can invest in, but because I want to bribe Square Enix to remake Vagrant Story. Also I have a gun.

I’m back and you’re all posting memes in colour ways that give me a migraine. what the fuck, guys.

D2 / Print ad / WARP Inc. / 1998

taking the cowboy theme seriously at a hen do I’m away to this weekend and packing a Pantera - Cowboys from Hell tshirt

no-one has ever managed to get that stupid “curl your hair with straightners” trick to work on short hair and I’m tired of pretending we have.

watching the latest State of Play

someone’s put up the most jank “free t*mmy r*bbinson” sign on my street utilising two whiteboards and a drying rack, what is this B&M ass, middle class nonsense

A comic I drew on a takeout napkin in 2015. If you're pressed for time, it's the original One Fear comic. Boom. Done. Get on with your day. If you don't value your time, here's a description: it's a comic, right? Well here's the twist: whole thing's on a napkin. Thinest sharpie for the lines, if I recall correctly. Comic is titled "TEEN COMIX" and the first panel has a guy in sunglasses wearing a shirt that says "NO FEAR." His friend is approaching, cut off by the panel's edge. His shirt says... something. But what? Fear not, the next panel clears that right up. Second panel is zoomed in on the friend's shirt. It reads "WHAT IF THEY MADE SIMPSONS PORN ILLEGAL?" Last panel is the guy from the first panel alone now. His shirt now reads "ONE FEAR." The title is attributed to Branson '15 which should go a long way to explaining how far I expected this to spread when I drew it. It was unfathomable to me that people who didn't know me on a first name basis would see it. Little did I know that every fandom on the internet would edit it with something interminable like "The Xanadon Guild receiving a buff from Trade Legion in Era of Conquest IV." I never get them but hey, god bless. I still see those from time to time but it's really slowed down. Nowadays this is an ancient meme, frozen in place like a masturbating Pompeii victim covered in the ash of the centuries.

Happy ten years to this bad boy.

US season 3 is the worrrrrst season so far. Worst traitors, worst drama, and a cast that couldn’t work together if you gave them verbal and pictorial instructions on how to do so.

It’s so beautiful that the universal constant is that it doesn’t matter where you go in the world, someone on public transport will always be playing the worst fucking song you’ve ever heard in your life at a volume you can only describe as physically excruciating

What’s going on in @hoodedhawks.bsky.social mind at any given moment

Jamie took me to a gallery in Milan today, pointed at a painting of the baby Jesus and said “his pinger’s straight oot”

Taking my small Italian child Ferrari to change its shitty nappy

can someone let Kayne know that the rest of us don’t want to be involved in his exhibitionism kink, we just want to get on with our day x

absolutely distressed to find the p*nk p*acock is returning at the same time twitter continues to die a slow death, where will I go for the patter now

I get that there’s a red warning but did the government really need to make me shit my fucking pants like that

Ok girls Dublin or Manchester who’s up for a holiday because apparently Scotland can get fucked

Frank Frazetta, unused poster art for From Dusk Till Dawn, 1996

Not if they know what’s good for them

If the world tour doesn’t include Scotland I am going to be unpleasant until 2026

They’re really doing it, girls xx

I’m going to pass out

If the NIN Peel It Back tour turns out to be fake I’m not going to be held responsible for my actions and if it’s real I want a week off work to recuperate

Pokémon is going to be 30 next year

happy new year, I just pulled my hamstring racing out of bed to see the fireworks x

No this is totally normal, my mum was just talking to me today about how her family used to do this and she really missed it

This is so fucking funny to me, X sucks and Grok is garbage hahaha

cursing you with the knowledge that Astro Bot’s main theme more than slightly resembles Starlight by Muse

At least Jimmy Carter never has to see a second Trump presidency, which I suspect makes him one of the lucky ones