oh my god maybe it really is the phones

I’ve never seen a picture of a chicken go harder than this

Great holy cripes. Really? Read the room!

BREAKING: This is huge news, the EU's equivalent of the 🇺🇸Supreme Court's 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges ruling.

🇪🇺Court of Justice just ruled all 🇪🇺countries must recognise same-sex marriages granted in other member states.

This effectively legalises gay marriage across 🇪🇺

When I'm asked what kind of friend groups I have:

My government adjacent partner doing required ethics training today. Informs me he just hit the part about the hatch act. I quite literally laughed out loud. On what planet are we bothering with this front anymore?

Hah! I was thinking the same exact thing today. And yet jet lag called. 🥴

Everything is loud, bright, nonsensical, expensive and covered in camouflage. I guess I'm back in that country again.

I almost never fly business\first class. But when I do, I'm sweaty, disheveled and look vaguely homeless. I swear I don't do this on purpose. If I have one, my seatmate is going to be unamused.

Is it utterly morbid that I sometimes switch up my FB photo before flying "just in case"?

Tucker Carlson Slammed Over Bonkers Plan To Out Pete Buttigieg As A 'Fake Gay Guy' What a weirdo.

On the off OFF chance it's true, I volunteer as tribute. But I'm fairly doggone certain this is just more of the ludicrous-ness. www.comicsands.com/carlson-butt...

OK I don't know who this guy is, but apparently we've met? 🤨 www.instagram.com/reel/DJIIWbe...

Indeed it is.

I could be having breakfast here again. Just saying.

I'm sitting here trying to enjoy my breakfast with endless cars driving three feet away and a leaf blower droning about 12 feet away. There are laws in Switzerland restricting leaf blower use at certain times and places. Not saying that's the only reason I want to emigrate. But...

After 7 Decades of Measurements From a Peak in Hawaii, Trump’s Budget Would End Them

Trump is closing all four climate observatory stations in Alaska, Hawaii, American Samoa, and Antartica. Because you can't have high CO2 levels if you don't *measure* CO2 levels.

roll_safe.gif

"Life is too short and these corporate overlords are too unworthy to have our hours."

Words I just wrote to one I love. I'm so over playing by the so called rules. I've never been good at it anyway.

Whew, after a few years my big project is 99% done (probably failed 🤔). I can now declench a little, get my strength and peace back.

*slowly notices long list of regular life stuff which didn't get done or got done minimally while I was in high stress mode for years*

Deep breath. Back at it.

You are consistently one of my favorite people on the planet. ❤️ Thank you.

All I can do is draw from the lessons of the last several years. Walk slowly and with conscious observation, talk slowly, smile to yourself, find your humility and inner peace. The world will keep flowing around you no matter what. If things don't go the way you expect, pause breathe deep then pivot

So much of my life, particularly for the last 5-10 years, has led to this afternoon. And the results of this afternoon will affect literally the course of the rest of my life, down to where I spend my final hours on this planet. No pressure. 🇨🇭

OK I didn't actually backtalk the nonna. No sane person back talks a nonna, especially the crazy ones.

I was thinking it sternly though. 🤣

Judgy nonna on my flight: we go now, you have to turn off phone.

Me showing her the blacked out airplane icon on my phone: Chick, I've literally piloted an aircraft. I know how take-off works. Do you know how a cell phone works?

You know you're back in the us when 2 bags of mediocre groceries costs 80$ and everyone is so self-involved, browsing the dairy aisle becomes a full contact sport. #ReverseCultureShock

Every other country's airport announcement: "Flight 503 is boarding now".

US airport announcement "Firearms are not permitted at security checkpoints, please check your hand luggage to see if you accidentally left a whole ass gun in it" I'm paraphrasing a touch.

a man in a polka dot jacket is standing on a set of stairs . ALT: a man in a polka dot jacket is standing on a set of stairs .

I get this reference!! 😀 I never get online references.

Sweaty backpack travel hacks. Creative wet-wiping. 🤣Wearing a bikini top instead of a bra because it's the only thing left in my bag not completely sweated through. Luckily it's fully freezing in this terminal, because the sweater I lugged through 7 boiling sweaty countries is finally getting used.

Got comfort+ on my big flight from Italy to NY. Seats felt like business sized, only a little dated maybe? I'll definitely be flying Norse again in the future. One of the most comfortable flights in my life! Except for the judgy nonna who made me crawl over her. That wasn't Norse's fault though. 🤣

One last tiny flight til I get back to DC. It will be the first time I fly first class in my life. And only because it was the same price as comfort plus. I assume because the seat and service will be comparable. 🤷🏼‍♀️ That said, going forward I'm sure going to check just in case.

Got into JFK about 11pm. For the last few hours was thinking I could kill for a coffee. So I perched near SB until it opened at 4:30. Of course at 4:20 maybe 25 people crammed around the door. Was about to get annoyed, then just ordered on the app sitting down. 1st out the door. 😁 #SmarterNotHarder