last night I decided to detransition and woke up feeling sick as hell. very I saw the TV glow of me

fuck therapy I need to go on Caleb hearons podcast

new phone goofin

do you guys like my dining room?

date day with husband in Dallas (:

homecoming week day 1: dress as your future career. since I already have my dream job I dressed as a twitch streamer

thank you to those who put their freedom on the line to protect this small part of our queer community in Houston. I was happy to play a small part. we will never go back

decorated my tarot deck (:

hands!
French tips done by me and new rings!

my planner is a mess, just like my brain (:

name a love story better than men and thinking about war

why the fuck did I have 6 people I follow following thecybersmith what if we let that loser rot in obscurity and stopped entertaining his bullshit

they found him in the kitchen. was he trying to eat,? they found him in the kitchen

I'm realizing I knew nothing about him. what was his favorite song? what lyrics had meaning for him? he was a geologist, did he have a favorite rock? I'll never know his favorite rock.

and I'm 27 years old. my dad wasn't supposed to die before I even turned 30.

and they wouldn't let me see his body because he was DECOMPOSING he had been dead WEEKS and no one noticed not even me and I live ten fucking minutes away

the guy from the funeral home wouldn't let me see his body and told me to focus on happy memories. and I really can't think of any right now I'm so full of anger

nothing was going to prepare me for everyone I know becoming an evil shell of the person they once were in the years leading up to their death. how the fuck do I even grieve like this. why does no one talk about that part

I can't stop thinking about whether he finished the stupid book he was reading. he talked for hours about that book. and if he'd been dead for weeks did he get a chance to finish it? did he die before he even found out how it ended?

it's giving

I only have three minutes to day drink before it becomes 5 and it's regular drinking

cool I wanted to know when it was gonna rise but existential dread at 1 am is also fun

just saw a doordash ad where parents told their kids there's food at home while driving past a restaurant and when they got home the food is doordash implying it would ever make sense to drive past a place while already out and pay one thousand dollars for delivery instead. the fuck?

If the world seems too overwhelming and you want to die, remember that you’ve already done the suffering. Do not let them win. Write, sing, fucking fight until your last breath. You are not the final generation to exist. plant a tree for the future from which you will never enjoy the fruit

ok buddy, youre getting your head crushed in the head crushing machine i specifically designed to crush your head

do they put voices talking in the background of songs just to make me paranoid

my gender is the only one who walks beside me

fuck America obviously

I'm always given aux at parties and I always just put my 2k song Spotify playlist on shuffle. power move