#Firefly is coming back as an animated series! It would be sweet if it showed up on a not shitty platform, like #Dropout. #CantStopTheSignal

This goes so hard. Alec is just fucking awesome. #NoMoreLies

Notorious scab and right-wing grifter Hulk Hogan is dead. Surprisingly he made it 71 years while abusing steroids and being a massive pile of shit.

Does anyone else read a death warrant to house centipedes before crushing them or is it just me? I think you have to if they violate The Accord, otherwise it's an unsanctioned crushing.

I have done a great sin against Italian cuisine today. I reheated #Carbonara that was leftover from yesterday. However in my evil I have discovered it is possible to reheat carbonara with hot pasta water saved from the night before and a little more cheese. It worked perfectly.

BREAKING: New Pope's Favorite Pizza Causes Italians To Demand Recount/Excommunication.

A small stoneware mug full of espresso with a nice milk microfoam top.

An American Shorthair Orange and White Cat named Norm sits looking off to his left at an unseen slice of cold pizza that was used to get his attention for a good picture. He is a very good boy, when he wants to be.

Got a KitchenAid espresso machine at a huge discount at HomeGoods. Quite the game changer. Norm is now my assistant barista. #HomeEspresso

They are gods anointed arbiters of what freedom is? #NothingLikeIt

Is there anything quite as #American as drinking a beer from the oldest brewery in the country while grilling Costco 1/4 lbs hot dogs in your backyard as a bunch of rich assholes slowly destroy the nation with their braindead politicians who use religion as a way to convince half the population that

An Orange and White American Shorthair Tabby Cat named Norm having the most relaxing of naps on his right side.

It's really hard to be just a little guy. #OrangeCat

Hey All, is #TinnedFish having some type of cultural moment right now? I'm seeing a lot of mentions of Tinned Fish in general, not any specific types.

a close up of a man 's face with a beard ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a beard

Go to a charity event.
It's a martini shake off.
Drink 27 shots of martini and martini adjacent drinks:

Well, someone put together a Project 2025 Tracker site. That way we can watch the downfall of our country as a status bar filling. www.project2025.observer?fbclid=IwZXh...

🎶 Everythings fucked and it's not gonna get better, noooooo it ain't getting better. This is how they kill democracy!🎶

a man in a suit and tie is sitting with his hand on his knee ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting with his hand on his knee

MFW I'm listening to @gamewoven.bsky.social lay down some of the sickest, cleanest licks on this side of the Mississippi.

Fun thing I noticed. All the people that were like "I'm not voting for genocide" are really fucking quiet about how Gaza is about to turn into Trump condos.

Oof. Military Blackhawk collided with an AA/PSA CRJ Flight doing a circle to land on 33 at Washington Reagan. This is why it's important to keep scanning the horizon in busy airspace even when you think you have the traffic in sight.

Air Temp -12F (-24C)
Wind Chill -33F (-36C)
That's frostbite on exposed skin in 10 minutes.

Ahhh, the US is fucked for years. Everyone is freaking out about the fascist being a fascist. We are about to have a recession that will ruin everyone but the rich. I'm just having an edible and a hot toddy.

So Jimmy, while dazed, fired off a solid left to ribs and then caught me right in the chin with a right hook. I dropped flat to the ground out cold... The End.

Jimmy stumbled back and I followed up with a solid left jab and right cross. Now Jimmy Stole is known as Jimmy Two Chins. This miserable bastard can take a haymaker and an upper cut from a prize fighter back to back and still stay on his feet. 10/?

This obscene excuse of a human had the audacity to spit out the sandwich he took from me and then say "This tastes like shit!" It was at that moment I just lost it. I took the plate and smashed Jimmy right in the face. Shattered that plate into a million pieces. 9/?

So I sit down and am about to dig into the culinary delight of Mama June's Famous Tuna Sandwich which this fucking prick named Jimmy Stole comes and takes the sandwich outta my hand. He looks me dead in the eyes and takes a bite out of it, chews, then SPITS IT OUT! 8/?

So Mama June just pops one or two or a handful of her little helpers and makes the best damn tuna sandwich in all of Oklahoma. It's all in the dressing, she makes her own mayo and slices the pickles and onions with the Bowie Knife named Ziggy she stabbed Texas Tom to death with. 7/?

Or as Mama June puts it: An amphetamine solution. She came into possession of about 500 cases of those old Hornet and Yellow Jacket gas station trucker speed capsules when they got outlawed in the 90s. That's about 2 semi trailers full of, up till then, legal magic working power. 6/?

While that poor bastard finished dying Mama June took his belt, the 50 bucks of prize money, and went back to work at her lunch stand to finish her clopen shift. Now I say clopen even though Mama June's never really closes in the first place. Mama June has a bit of an amphetamine problem. 5/?

Half bled out from all his knife fights. That's when he met his fate at the nimble jabs of Mama June. With her Bowie knife that she named Ziggy, she stuck Texas Tom 13 times in the belly turning what was left of his spleen and liver into mince. His last words were "Aw... Shit." 4/?

Now they called him Texas Tom even though he wasn't from Texas, nor Arkansas. His weird knife fighting ass was from Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He got his Texas Tom moniker from his knife fight days while wandering through the panhandle half geeked out on ether and 3/?

The best tuna sandwich in all of Oklahoma and does all her own surgeries. She did her own cesarean for both her kids, no anesthesia, no nerve blocks, no gas. Just a bottle of Jim Beam and a leather belt she won in a knife fight with Tom Ford outta Texarkana. They called him Texas Tom. 2/?