Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It

Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It theonion.com/man-finally-good-enough-...

I act like a love struck teenager at least twice a day recently.

Cosplay accidentally just made me a mustache guy. Straight up hated it on my face at first but really wanted to see the cosplay thru, the one person who could have convinced me to keep it did, and now I’ve crossed the threshold into that’s just my face now

Somebody stop that witch! She stole my cock! She took it!

The “Calvin’s dad explains two types” meme, inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon. Clockwise from top left: 1) Calvin’s dad walks into frame to find Calvin trying to operate a record player. The dad says: “There are only two industries left in America: gambling, and fraud.” 2) The dad shows where the record goes, and how to turn on the player, while Calvin watches. Dad says “Derivatives? Gambling. AI? Fraud. Video games? Gambling. Social media? Fraud.” Calvin says “yeah”. 3) With one hand open palm up, Calvin’s dad cheerfully explains to Calvin out of frame below him, “The stock market looks like gambling, but it’s actually fraud.” 4) In bed in a dark room, Calvin clutches at his pillow, eyes wide in existential terror. There is no text in the panel.

said she was thinking about our conversation earlier and wanted to keep talking about it, and said we should go see a movie when she gets back

So sorry you were cursed with the spirit of the homestuck fandom haunting you like a spectre. My condolences

the hidden king theme really might be the best 30 seconds of music in existence.

I think it's bad for the President to threaten to annihilate an entire culture and i do not think you are being alarmist if you take his threats seriously and literally.

guy holding out his hands captioned before human civilization on planet earth end anybody want to admit they got a crush on me

its famous speech sounds dramatic, full of fury, but its a tantrum. Its whining. it sounds like a child with a strong vocabulary. Does it also live a tortured existence. yes of course it does. It has decided its way thru this life is pulling the legs off insects and rattling them around a cage

either thru the torment of its existence, or its own refusal to acknowledge anything other than itself, or maybe just the pettiness of a living thing with too much power, AM is pathetic. a god that cannot think of something to do other than play with its toys and get mad when they break

disagree with someone so heavily on their interpretation of AM in i have no mouth that i kinda dont want to argue with them. Imo, as much as AM calls itself an angry god, at the end of the day its playing with toys for 100 years.

She’s bringing in cousins from other worlds for the whole cast to knock up

from tumblr user exeggcute: I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine

good post

you know that clip of david lynch on the set of TP:TR losing it in response to some exec fussing about the length of a scene and saying "who gives a fucking shit how long a scene is?" i internally do that when i see people praise the mario movie for "faithfulness."

the small crack at the base of my skull has been producing a fluid that I've taken to calling "idea milk"

girl i like saw me smiled walked up gave me a big thumbs down in my face said i should keep my mustache and then we talked about anime for 10 minutes. im really really trying not to be in love

There’s guys I don’t like that have appeal to others, and I can kinda understand how they got there. Like I get why there’s clamor around Newsom even if I don’t want him. the only people I could understand going for Rahm in 2026 are people who would personally benefit. Like 2 dozen people at most.

please consider my proposal: The C(h)I)li's Bill, you gotta work in a restaurant for a year to learn what kind of country you really live in

ty ty <3

Lash cosplay #deadlock :3

leaked dispatch from the onion

feel like a different person, but lash cosplay haircut has had the plug pulled

Every time I see someone using the “well democrats aren’t in power so how are they supposed to do anything“ I get personally insulted at this point. Like either you’re stupid or you think I’m stupid and either way I’m not treating you like an intellectual peer.

Aquarius: Probably nothing to worry about but, we just thought you'd want to know the creature draws near. Ever nearer, actually, it says here. The handwriting is sort of— well, I shouldn't editorialize. But uh. Yeah. Creature's comin'.

drink less water. clench your jaw. worsen your posture. this is the time of monsters

One day someone will write a book about the NYT’s century long legacy of promoting genocidal messaging, from selling slave catcher ads to making Hitler seem chill to “he was no angel” to attacks on trans people

Feature, not bug, often honed on Black people as well as queer people.