Utter filth and on the BBC website of all places.

What do I pay my licence fee for?

Romero is really upset which is bad news fire Argentina. #coys

Sun’s out…

I find it difficult to even think about it. There’s a rational bit of my brain that tells me 1) is not challenging for the title where you need to win and keep winning, it’s just about keeping your head above water; 2) Kudus coming back will make a difference; 3) we have 3 painful weeks to reset.

I think it’s the last fun game of the season. I’d play the first team.

Going to go for a jog and listen to a football podcast without getting tearful.

#coys

Oh.

Great now I have to google Shibari

They should be shining a Gareth Bale shaped light into the sky.

Ahh, Darren, you’ve got to say he’ll be disappointed with the reaction there. No one wants to see the sixth form girls laughing like that.

It’s not just that it’s shit, it’s that it’s weird, jarring shit.

It’s like a Brecht play but with the props, actors and set all made entirely of human faeces

You know the recurring dream when you’re standing on stage at school and you suddenly realise you’re naked?

That but narrated by Ally McCoist.

#coys

If Yvette Cooper ever wanted to form a Pulp cover band…

What’s happened to Micky?

Everything Is Awful

open.spotify.com/track/0wY4gx...

Just punched the air because Sunderland scored a sketchily awarded VAR penalty.

I now sit here wondering what I have become whilst wistfully recalling times when my biggest concern was Christian Eriksen repeatedly failing to beat the first man at corners.

#coys

Never has the difference between the New York Times and the York Times been more clear:

Google tells me this is a podcast about the American constitution rather than a description of Radu Dragusin.

I’ll give it a go!

Apropos of nothing, any non football related podcasts anyone can recommend?

#coys

If you’re, say, 20 and you’re only knowledge of Morrissey is the current version, it must be a jarring experience to see him in The Smiths.

Like finding out that Richard Tice played bass in The Style Council.

Evangelis, my friend, I fear he may have rather glossed over some points during the interview…

#coys

Brilliantly! Just weighed some guy’s cat for £160.

I feel this way about watching Tottenham Hotspur.

I work in a sadomasochistic brothel being ritually spanked for the sick enjoyment of others.

#coys

I’m 45 and happily jog around the park in a spurs shirt. It’d be better if there weren’t teenagers shouting “Alright lads, it’s Harry Kane!” Or the more succinct “Mate, Spurs are shit!” but you can’t have everything in life.

Got cursed by a witch.

Absolutely love that your dad’s wearing full kit for the photo!

But this is the first one that isn’t weird and slow

SEE APOCRYPHAL QUOTE IN BIO.

Oh, no, what was the original unmistranslated version?