Gulf of Your Mom.

I’m a little freak. I’m a turnt up little freak.

How’s everyone doing over here? I’m struggling 😩

Am I dying or do I just have gas: a memoir on the craft of being an old bitch

6: “lifts up one of my eyelids” So the elf put about 8 million ducks in the hall!!!
Me, in bed, still dark outside: oh yeah? What time is i—
6: so I have hidden them all around the house for you to find. Here is a bowl. Start now!

Any point in life is a good point to have children if that’s what you want.

………..but having a 6 y/o at 42 could have been workshopped a bit, ijs.

Do I have reply guys? No. But do I have reply fries? Also no but that would be amazing

Hot

I am sorry, I forgot for a brief moment that I had this account.

Yesssss 🥵🥵🥵

Sport announcers: 58 years old! Wow! Amazing that he’s still alive. How is he even moving around? Will this short walk be the end of the 58 year old?

This has happened to me 😂

Mom?

I don’t even go between September-March lol

This is like going to a new school in the middle of the year

Okay I’m here, now where are all my friends?