Update: Sorry about that, Runtime was on my keyboard.

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Nanotrasen encourages you to remember the OG...

All of our Senior Officers responsible for general personnel are responsible for these primary duties.

1. Safeguard Ian. This actually is more important than all the following. Why? Don't ask.
2. Run in front of security so you can aim better while there's a firefight.
3. Give out AA for no reason.

...

We here at Nanotrasen are glad to see our brand deal with Donk Co. being put to use!

This just in:

A crate of Collectable Hats has been unearthed from an undisclosed location, disturbing the delicate economy of Collectable Hats. Rumours say a ultra rare plasma hat has been found, but there is no evidence so far to back these claims.

It's actually what I found this message on, and have used to find fan-art and generalized SS13/SS14 related posts- but having one to specifically separate SS14 from SS13 is good.

Thanks for giving the link, though, I'll be using it to share this.

Thank you, kindly.

NT-AI back online.

Q&A:

Q: What went wrong?
A: An intern spilled coffee on the housing of the AI.

Q: Why did it take so long to repair?
A: We gave the intern 50 credits to get replacement parts, and they spent it all on Greybull.

Q: Will this happen again?
A: Probably.

Automated Notification:

NT-AI Model "Omega" Crashed. Rebooting...

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And I love you, random spessman!

BREAKING NEWS:

Jane Syndicate found ALIVE after being cloned, this being Clone #3,749 according to the NTIA. John Nanotrasen refused to comment on the affair, but Spokesperson Speaks-The-Lies from the NTIA comments:

"We don't know what happened. Plansssss are in the makingssss right now."

BREAKING NEWS:

Jane Syndicate declared DEAD by Interdyne paramedics after being shot 37 times by "Armored Gangsters" in an fly-by.

(Wonder who did that.)

Did someone say Space Station 13?

The Nanotrasen Health and Safety department reports that injury via soap has gone down by 7% in the past two months. Good work, employees!

In other news, Nanotrasen has laid off 12,000 service employees to save on health insurance.

The Occult is not allowed on Nanotrasen or Nanotrasen-Affiliated Stations.

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Don't forget the HVAC crowd.

Nanotrasen spends trillions each year to replace damages done by it's own employees and the Syndicate.

Nanotrasen wishes to inform you that Season 7 of Spaceblades are coming to an station near you! Gotta collect em' all!

Nanotrasen does not take any responsibility for any clowns that may or may not be under it's employ, and any of their actions.

It is with great anguish that we announce this news- Supermatter Donk Pockets will no longer be supplied to any stations, after an class-action lawsuit involving two Clowns, an Chief Engineer, and the entire population of Unob-37b.

An top team of Central Scientists developed the iconic "bwoink" noise known to employees. Originally we were planning to use the noise of rubber dodgeballs, but recording the noise turned out to be too distressing to the scientists. Bike horns were a big N-O.

Reminder to all active employees- we own you.

An shame that this didn't make it. At least the mothroach plushie is coming!