People for whom the concept of fuck.

Want to sleep better? Set an alarm for much earlier than you need to. It feels great to blow past some stupid fucking alarm. Years later, reconnect with the alarm online and bury the hatchet. You both did things you weren't proud of but you're good people.

Dog that starts biting their computer because the video is bad

The meat always gets stuck in my teeth because I'm dark and terrible and scary as hell and I also still have to take care of my basic needs as a person, like eating and working and taking care of my home and stuff.

There's gorilla glue in my girlfriend. She keeps boiling all those ape bones. Making what she calls, "gorilla soup" but she boils it so long and at hard it gets sticky and black, and it's not just the molasses she adds. Honestly it's so cute

It's not my blood so you shouldn't worry

So stop asking

It's not that it's not it is not it's not it just isn't

Yeah ok if you come down and want to return the cookies I'll give you a little kiss. Ok love you, bye.

I can't pay you out of pocket. I know it would increase my reputation with your faction. I deal with a lot of factions, sir. I'm sorry. Mom, it's exactly where you left it! It's exactly where you leave it every- wait no it's in my pocket, I'm sorry Mom. I'm so sorry. I love you, too.

Chocolate chip cookies? Yeah they come like that from the warehouse. In piles of three, yes. Yes. Fifty gold pieces. Sigh. Yes you can return them for a 25 golf piece refund. Not now mom I'm on the phone! Yes. Yes. Ok. I'm sorry, but that's the store policy, I'd change it if I could.

Ouch, ouch, ouch! There's thorns on those fucking roses what the fuck? They never told me about this!

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