we love a Morgan Geekie goal

me: (casually) what is it with the influx of evil lately

thanks LL! 🩵

Look, for my money the absolute game changer technologies right now are batteries and biosciences, not statistically modeling a mid conversation, but you do you.

it's fucking great being consistently disappointed by your own species like holy shit every day a new low for humanity

The crucial thing to understand about Peter Thiel is that he adores "The Lord of the Rings" and no one in human history has ever so utterly completely missed all the salient points of what a book is about.

skill issue

Which essential oil is best for repelling human interaction?

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I was googling everything you said.

I just read the detailed CNN report about how many men go online seeking instructions and videos of drug-assisted sexual assault and now I understand why so many women choose the bear

I’ve mostly had cream cheese brownies and coffee for my food source in the last 18 hours and I do not understand why I have a tummy ache

retweeting a bunch of my "democrats are willing partners in the rise of fascism" tweets because democrats are willing partners in the rise of fascism

A+ gay haircut

he died as he lived

Pinned down by cats. This is a good death.

formal request to all of the companies and establishments that are currently sending me bills: stop it

finally gonna show you all some of the scratch-n-sniff stickers i've collected over the years

It’s interesting how socialists should always be managing their politics and criticism in reference to what Democratic leaders find acceptable because they might be deemed ungettable voters when 1/3+ of the country already consistently opt out of standard bourgeois electoral politics (voting D or R)

me (applying to a patient intake representative position at the local hospital): I might work on Scrubs

in case you're looking for a sex symbol

orange cat looking upset

you can barely tell it's 1 hour til dinner time

Hello I am CEO of EvilCo, a branch of Umbrella Corp, and no we’re not the Umbrella Corp from the games we were just inspired by them, you’re not gonna to believe this but we have just released a company memo that says we’re not good human beings

Every time you see an advancement in robotics you should think "what does this mean for the sex robot industry?" because that's exactly what every robot engineer is also thinking

The idealized version of myself, will fix everything tomorrow

The Democrats sense that they're gonna cruise to midterm victory by doing nothing and offering nothing and are using it as a freebie to punch left to make sure the voters don't get any ideas.

I have a shitty bathtub, but if I had a good one- I would take a bubble bath right now. All of ya'll with good ones should go do that. 🫧

leftists are my greatest adversary because they are destroying america destroying america or being rude to you online? being rude to me online

liberals on this microblogging website