who the hell does that. Just volunteers thenselves to become Eyelash Girl

I was not ready for college, during an icebreaker the first week everyone had to say a surprising fact abt themselves and I said I used to collect my eyelashes when I was little

Two bowls of cereal away from texting my 5mo situationship "i kinda want a baby"

Well these hoes aren't gonna scare themselves

2007 was 19 years ago

Every company incorporated after 2007 is fake

honking your car horn should kill u like a bee stinger

a hand in the pussy is worth two in the bush

I hope AI destroys every job and all economies and every trace of human knowledge so we must remake society from first principles

Would you rather bite the hand that feeds you or kiss the hand that starves you

[something bad happens every day for 5 consecutive years] Well you win some you lose some

buying a wallet so embarrassing...trading money for a place to keep your money...it's good you only have to do that 5-6 times in your life

no weather today

I can't believe bill gates named his company after his penis

The best things in life are buy one, get one 50% off (cannot be combined with regular sale items, limit one per customer. Offers may vary by location)

going back thru my feed and deleting all the duds feels like brushing an unruly but well-loved horse's mane

Dune is a film about the dangers of drinking while pregnant

it's delete social media 2026 #deletesocialmedia2026

I used to be afraid of frizz but then I realized...it's all on my head

the prophets foretold of nights like this bro

my heart using bing search:

Feb. 24, 1865 | Kentucky Refuses to Ratify Abolition of Slavery Learn more about our history of racial injustice.

On this day in 1865, the Kentucky General Assembly refused to endorse an end to slavery in America. Kentucky did not officially ratify the Thirteenth Amendment until 1976.

every day is another chance to fuck it up 🙏

"No one has it all figured out" I do. So does everyone else. That's just something we say to make you feel better

just had to get this out there. Don't worry about it

[en entendant "Olympics goonbait"] ahh c'est pour ça qu'on parle de "JO" ?

curtis sliwa in his red beret

impulse-bought a beret

At my lowest point in the pandemic (22 yo with no job prospects) I tried to install Windows OS on my Mac so I could play a Zoo Tycoon 2 bootleg

leasing my shoes to you at 10% apr