Get yourself a mother-in-law who tells your wife she’ll drop by at 10 am “but let Ashley sleep in. She needs it.” And when she arrives and you’re in bed asks, “should I jump on Ashley?”

This year instead of yelling to torture my in-laws I pushed a button on their microwave that makes a 10 sec musical tone at random every 20-30 seconds

Signed the contract for book ten. Do I get a reward now?

“Your job is to be a dick” - @stacia.bsky.social

I’m at Sacramento Pride watching @meghanobrien78.bsky.social scroll her phone while @texang.bsky.social flirts with everyone walking by (to sell books). Perfect marriage. No notes.

My father-in-law just asked if the new skirt I’m making for him will still allow him to go commando and I promised that was factored into my design. Butch, right?

I think you mean grammER

Today was 64° so I almost didn’t. I was only able to spend about 6 hours outside!

Proud of you, sport

I’m sorry, did you miss the part where I almost put on a jacket??

So you’re suggesting that the high of 69° here is *not* freezing? Because it’s real cold. I almost had to wear a jacket.

For what I can only imagine was my Christmas gift, my family asked a series of grammar questions and listened intently to the answers while sitting around the fire last night.

Sylver and Gold by Michelle Larkin | Bold Strokes Books Working feverishly to find a killer before he strikes again, Boston Homicide Detective Reid Sylver and rookie London Gold are blindsided by their chemistry and developing attraction.

www.boldstrokesbooks.com/books/sylver...

No, silly. Paper. With string or ribbon (real, not synthetic).

This is why I don’t use tape. Wrapping with tape and ribbon is like wearing a belt with suspenders!

Watching Lethal Weapon because Christmas. Apparently our 4k player is okay with Mel Gibson, but the second Riggs got homophobic, the disc stopped playing. That’s the line, I guess

Morally gray and hot. So are my books.

Okay but I love that this tells me that you’re a xennial gay too. Those late 90s/early aughts roots can’t be killed

My baby sis just texted that she has a 900 page essay due tomorrow and she needs help. So either college has gotten harder or we need to work on her reading comprehension.

You need Anna and the Apocalypse. Trust me.

5 days ago my book came out and I’m ADHD so I’m just telling you about it now! Exclusive early release at Bold Strokes!

PJ Addison and Wylie Parsons have been called back to film the most recent Dangerous Summer Nights installment. Only this time they’re not in love and it’s going to stay that way.

Revisiting Summer Nights books by Ashley Bartlett in a box. The cover has a dark gray background with film studio lights. A figure is in the foreground facing away.

She’s here! You can get Revisiting Summer Nights in April from @boldstrokesbooks!

Yeah blurbs are hard to write but getting new headshots? My god, I’ll never recover from my wife’s impression of my “dead-eyed stare”

There’s nothing quite so humbling as doing your edits and finding you apparently don’t know the difference between its and it’s. This is literally like four of my jobs.

I love waking up to workmen outside my window, teaching me new words! But I gotta say “cock gazer” doesn’t seem as PC as they think it is.

My FIL just announced that he’s the official Tampax Driller during Christmas. So I’m going to let you all debate what exactly that means.

On the second year of making thanksgiving dinner the shine has worn off and now I’m just yelling at my in-laws (with good reason)

I just asked my MIL if she knows anyone who can teach me to embroider and the depths of her outrage are astounding. Anyway. My MIL is going to teach me to embroider.

Both my mothers got me beer themed birthday presents which either means I need a less problematic hobby or my moms are super fucking cool