Uncle Jesus

this is what happens when James has to commute to Philly in the morning & can't make my lunch, yes, he makes my lunch, because he makes much better lunches than i do! and i deserve it!

all i brought to work today was like, pistachios and fruit and these oats, thinking like "oh it'll be enough" past me is an idiot!

I will always accept a french toast casserole recipe, also i like the idea of rolling up to work with a whole casserole for my breakfast

I made overnight oats to eat this morning and now I dont want them, where are the overnight chocolate chip pancake recipes

Weed Strains of Middle-Earth: King Atop the Mountain, E-Z-Erebor, Esgaroth Smooth, Honeycake (these are marketed to Beornings so they're all minimum 25 mg) Rivendell Red, Gasp of Rohan, White Tree Woot

(Some loud cardinals woke me up at 5:50am)

I like birds but they get up too early

people forget about this!

I might not know that much about hockey but I do know that the penguins are little babies (derogatory) and fuck Sidney Crosby

My sister has been a flyers fan for as long as I can remember & just loved watching hockey in general & knows so much about it (and numerous other sports), it’s so impressive

More and more people are saying it: let’s go flyers

Understanding sports is hard! You have to be smart!

I have a deep and abiding respect for anyone who knows a lot about hockey bec it is a sport that I know so little about and someday maybe I’ll commit myself to knowing more! It’s hilarious to me that I probably know the most stuff about football

Aye aye cap'n

if only i could bring myself to do even one chore

checked the news & they just sold their "elegant Brookyln townhouse"

Rachel Weisz & Daniel Craig? Rachel was in The Favourite

hmmmmmmm

the reverse Chadwick

John Turnip

unless we are actively winning a championship, philadelphia sports fans operate under the unassailable knowledge that all their teams stink

i find it hilarious that with kids this age they either eat two bites of food & they're over it, or they must consume everything in the kitchen

haha i'm betting he meant slices of banana, but maybe he did go donkey kong mode

Jameses breathless text about everything Bep ate for lunch is sending me into orbit: “He had a fruit bar, 10 grapes, tatziki, cheese quesadilla, part of my ham sandwich, bananas, orange and sun chips “

they asked chatGPT & it responded "more meat for the slop machine"

this is so disturbing lmao, it's like those medieval cat paintings

Chadwick in da Specs

Now, imagine no longer!

Michael.

imagine Chadwick but wearing those terrible Snapchat glasses

"runners benefited from a tailwind" yeah and also from being human lightning