sebastian stan saying please hire me

Hey friends, if anyone has any leads on full-time or part-time work in these areas please let me know:

• social media (creative > strategy)
• copywriting (short- + long-form)
• blogging/reporting (entertainment + lifestyle + SEO)
• script-writing (podcast + short-form video)
• proofreading

Like I feel like this is something I would get bullied about if I were a character in a '90s/'00s teen movie

I feel like there are a lot of dorky things about me that I don't actually consider dorky but one thing that is actually very dorky is my legs get really itchy when exposed to chilly air

(If you have any leads we can figure out the best way to contact off-platform since DMing isn't a thing lol)

Hey friends, I'm still looking for freelance + part-time remote work in these areas:

• social media (creative > strategy)
• copywriting (short- + long-form)
• blogging/reporting (entertainment + lifestyle + SEO)
• script-writing (podcast + short-form video)
• proofreading
• busywork (data entry)

Probably so they can force everyone to fork over an extra dollar for a new card 🙄

I have a great, productive day planned tomorrow so I fully expect to be flattened by a bus first thing in the morning

Someone on Facebook Marketplace asked me if I'd deliver something and I asked where to and all they said was "Queens" as if Queens isn't enormous??

It feels like exposure therapy for severe over-planners

I just found out there's such a thing as "surprise travel" where you fill out a questionnaire and a trip is planned for you but you don't find out about it until like two days before you leave and just the thought of it has my spreadsheet-making ass anxious

I don't want a new Twitter I want to get into romantic turf wars on Xanga over high school crushes

I now have to take the filter from the other AC back and forth every morning and night until the replacement arrives

I don't get angry often but when I do it presents itself in the most annoying way possible, like last night when I broke my AC filter in a rage because I couldn't get it back in its little slot

a tweet reading too many apps with a translate this post option

What language is this

my coworker: you look nice

me: thanks every other piece of clothing I own is dirty

If I'm even remotely dressed up to do something jeans and a casual top would've been fine for there's a 90% chance 5-7 loads' worth of laundry is scattered around my apartment

When I was a kid a bat once got into the house and flew into my room. At first I was like, wow what a big moth, then I was like, oh wait, a bird, then it finally clicked and I lost my shit 😭

Is there a German word for when you've been single so long you start wondering what it'd be like to have sex with that one ex from like 20 years ago who you never got past third base with

a giant sad looking stuffed bear

I feel like the $500 sad sack bear from Neiman Marcus

I used to get so many job leads through Twitter, at this point I've mostly given up trying to find anything on there :/

a tweet from @thejessgoodwin that says What are the odds Elon has been plotting to take over and destroy Twitter since the first time he saw someone tweet a photo of him pre-hairplugs

I don't remember what exactly prompted it but I'm convinced more than ever this theory is correct

margot robbie as barbie with an atomic bomb going off behind her

This is Nuclear War Barbie

Here's an obligatory first bluesky post