Don’t you say that about every hetero dating show

Lasagna is my Roman Empire

Oh no
Stop
Don’t

Ok well the cat’s out of the bag now I guess

🙏

The goal(?) is to actually completely lose the ability to see color

But a weird nerd we love

4. You know yourself and your body really well / you seem very insightful
-ER doc who told me I probably don’t have appendicitis but then came back after scans and said I definitely have appendicitis, textbook case & also physical therapist, unrelated visit

3. You have so many good veins
-Every phlebotomist

2. Your skin takes color really well!
-Paramedic in the ambulance that time I lost so much blood I passed out

Compliments from medical professionals:

1. You have beautiful blood pressure. Wow
-Every nurse

Lloyd

Polymarket shows your coworker’s friend’s polycule to experience crisis in the next 6 months

THE LOOP
Chipmunk: Apr 9 ✅
🟢🟢🟢⚪️⚪️ www.britannica.com/games/loop?u...

I guess now we know why people think she’s dumb

Stop trying to shame me for reading 15 (ok fine 23) books at once.

It’s just not the same unless I have books at all of 5%, 20%, 34%, 52%, 71%, and 85% at the same time

When can I visit mama and papa pikajew

The green lesbian comic is indeed great

Me: I’m gonna get fat from eating all these pastries today

Husband: I don’t think you should worry about that

Me: No, I mean that it is my plan to get fat from eating pastries today

Condolences

Watching Neighbors, it’s amazing how much energy these people have to spend on being angry

The gay agenda goes so deep

It’s been Little kids too like don’t do that to your five year old

Whenever I feel down, l’ll remind myself

Well, at least that one time a French person asked me if I was also French after I talked to her in French

If your dude bakes you cookies and you feel nothing, break up before he tells you he loves you

Love is Blind is like a reverse tourism ad

It’s quite good

If it makes you feel better, my husband spilled his pineapple Fanta all over my French notes and homework

What is happening in Ohio

A Shanghai tunnel style trap door where you can push a button to drop them into the sewers/river so they float out to sea