Once that $1000 comes through..

No use being bashful, you love to be my hole.

(At ikea losing my mind, send $1000 🤪🙃🤩)

I get Anne Hathaway and Amy Winehouse 🤔

Same

I have been putting powdered maca root in my smoothie every day for energy and vitality but the horny hit me like a train this weekend 😭😳

The duality of womanhood: I am the softest I’ve ever been yet the most ruthless.

The kind of encounter that leaves your abs and hamstrings sore 😮‍💨

The duality of womanhood: I am the softest I’ve ever been yet the most ruthless.

Bees are cute though

It’s sad that people sometimes avoid the color yellow because it makes them think of pee like that’s a bad thing 💛

Wow so true 🤩

Me when someone is rude over text messages lol

It looks like I’ll be getting out to Fire Island at least once a month for the 4-5 months! Any of you cuties tour there? Let’s chat 💓

Wow same!!

What are you weekend to-do plans and why aren’t they me?

Sorry to the folks who have emailed me and haven’t gotten a response.. the last 2 weeks have been a total tornado of working on a big project but I’m kind of done with it and am open for booking again, though my availability is somewhat more limited and generally need more than same day notice 😚

Double parking to save a second parking space makes you a bad person

It’s hot, but it could definitely be hotter 😉

If you don’t have a sense of humor or aren’t at least a little corny, we probably won’t get along 🤪

1969 followers. NOICE.

I truly hope there are archives of memes. And by that I mean archival prints.

Totally your style! Maybe we will run into each other up the coast sometime!

Planning a trip up the coast for May 9-15th. I’ll be passing through CT, RI, and staying in Cape Cod May 11-15th. Very exciting!

Welcome!

Are you tempted yet?

🫡

Oh you’re going to need a crew for that!

Are they trying to sandblast it or something

What if you were the castle and I was the ivy

What if you were the castle and I was the ivy