I just had a Glow Up. And by Glow Up I mean I just sat on a hard plastic Rudolph toy.

How did I go from someone who loved a good book to someone that watches hours of fast motion people cleaning filthy rugs.

Question for dudes: after visiting the restroom in a nice hotel/restaurant or the like, after you wash & dry your hands do you go back to the sink to squirt lotion in your hands …. ? Me? I start by squirting lotion in my hands and yelling “fuck”

Drew Carey reunites with us on the What If podcast!

I occasionally log into LinkedIn. It’s always the same thing: 30 strangers offering me an MBA program.

Keeping a detailed Excel spreadsheet of all the people that saw one of my stories but did not heart it. You know who you are.

Love it! Thx for the listen :)

Sorry ya’ll but Peter Cottontail sounds like a fake, totally made up name

I missed the acting class where the teacher explained how to jerk your head back and squint to swallow pills dry

“Someone hacked us and your data. Here’s a free credit monitoring service for one year” - companies

“Oh no!!! , I can’t wait a whole year!” -criminals

Ep2 of Seth Rogan’s #TheStudio is soooo good!

Deleting your data from #23andme is about as effective as posting on Facebook that it can’t use your photos.

“Let’s go to an Irish food restaurant “
-nobody

happy St. Patrick’s day ☘️

I bet after singing “I want Candy” at their 15th state fair, that group didn’t really want candy anymore.

Shark Tank pitch:
Alarm clock that shoots coffee into your mouth via fun tube.

Watching the AI baby videos of famous sitcoms is peak Skibbity

At @sxsw.com to promote new post with @waynebradybaby.bsky.social #whatif #improv @headgum.com

Jason Issac’s accent though… #WhiteLotus

Looking for a decent 30 year lease to buy option with no $ down for an egg

All the drummers online doing reaction videos to YYZ which they claim they’ve never heard are liars

The Crowd, Where’s Moo

I’m so hungry, I could eat a hors d'oeuvres

Is it weird people are angry about someone making AI pics/art, but they totally use AI text all day? To the software, it’s the exact same math.

I like to imagine the Blues Clues guy got a degree from community college and started BlueSky while his Harvard educated brother still works at Cheesecake Factory.

Banking some improv podcasts 2day. Well give u a shoutout if we use ur suggestions! 1- What’s a secret or mystery u wish u had the answer to? (Avoid the obvious answers) and 2- What can instantly change your vibe? (For better or worse) thx! (More info on podcast coming soon)

With Clint Eastwood directing movies in his 90s, I think we were all hoping David Lynch would surprise us with a new movie. Really gonna miss that guy.

Astro bot is lots of fun. Highly recommend.

I won’t. One has a giant hole and smells bad and the other is the toilet.

True

I’ll be taking a break from real life to just be on social media for a while. If you need to reach me in person you can find me on couch or toilet.