Alright explain

Does intermittent fasting still count of you eat your boogers?

Lmao finally remembered my password. Sup losers

One day they will build a homemade submarine to go see the wreckage

Can’t get any notes done because they blocked chatgpt from the hospital computers

Probably

I’m gonna keep it real with you guys, I don’t even know

Call my dick lebron the way it’s always dribbling

How do guys do jiujitsu or wrestling with other guys without getting hard?

Rip to Fortunato but I would have gotten out from behind that wall no problem

The soy “get better sleep hygiene” vs the chad “do ambien”

Y’all ever see the ending of The Mist??

It would be an honor to raise and lower your bed so you would be uncomfy

Airbud would have been amazing at dogfights

opening up a submarine ride that goes to observe the wreckage of the submarine that went to observe the wreckage of the titanic

She’s gonna be too smart for me. I hope she into adorably stupid guys

I was planning on just saying hi. She’s like 5-6 my senior but i mean…

Matched on a dating app with an attending at the hospital i’m doing a SubI at. Should I pretend it never happened or?

Just learned about periods. How could god do this to women??!

Who’s that?

It’s short for “Greek God Apollo”

It’s just one of my many skills you know

*At a museum*
Tour guide: this rock is millions of years old

Crowd *losers*: wow!

Me *in the back very smart 180 IQ*: technically all rocks are 4.5 billion years old

Your mom

My urethra so tight it comes out like a mist

Morty is short for Mortyferth

He’s my bestie

Awww fake tears