"I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It's really starting to depress me."
"Down in the dumps?"
"I dunno. I haven't been yet".

("Did you know he's not even real? I'm _livid_, what a waste of time!").
Also, some other visitors got a bit tied up on which one of the photos of real Victorian villains 'that Holmes might have caught' (if he wasn't pretend) was Jack the Ripper.
Magnificent.

I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum at 221b Baker Street a while back. (Footnotes here: no I didn't, the address is fictional, but the 'museum' is real, except of course it isn't). The highlight was a local lady _fuming_ because she'd just discovered that Sherlock Holmes wasn't a real person.

Nail this opinion to the mast; I shall die defending it.

This video of a Ukrainian Yak-52 crew taking down drones with a shotgun is incredible, but the music is deeply, and profoundly inappropriate. There was really only one option. So I've fixed it.

Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty. Turn your wife into salt and lay waste to a city. This is bad, Lot.

This is so well done. 👌

Fantastic.

A replica of Thomas the Tank Engine being transported on a large flatbed truck. It’s strapped down in multiple places and the face portion is covered by a large black bag

Thomas gets taken to a black ops site

Scene is a young boy and his mum sat on floor of his bedroom. He is opening his birthday presents. MUM: And this one’s from Uncle Pete and Aunty Liz… [unwrap] [We see the toy. It is a miserable looking rabbit character in an open fronted box with 'PRESS ME' and an arrow pointing to its ear.] [Boy presses ear] RABBIT: Bollocks. [the mum and boy look slightly shocked at the rabbit toy] [close up on toy] [Boy presses ear again.] I’m not doing this any more. [Press] I’ve reached the end of the line. [Press] Do you have *any idea* how many times I’ve been regifted? [Press] THIRTY FOUR TIMES I’ve been wrapped and unwrapped. [Press] Thirty-four pairs of disappointed eyes… thirty four temporary homes… [Press] I've seen storage cupboards in Milton Keynes… Home-office shelves in Stoke…. moments lost in time, like tears in rain… [Press] I’m in the *regifting zone*, see… Good enough to gift, but *just that bit* too shit to keep. [mum throws the rabbit over her shoulder into the bin] MUM: It’s broken RABBIT: SWEET RELEASE [ends]

don't think I ever posted this one, it's from 2021

Is it a giant wooden horse

My alabaster milk child Teuton keeps asking for ranch dressing at the caviar factory, it is most epic. The fishmongers despise him.

Perfect

Trent Rez in the head like a hole vid

Pain at the pump 🎶
Feel like a chump 🎶
Just checked the news 🎶
Outbreak of Mumps 🎶

Proton Mail Helped FBI Unmask Anonymous ‘Stop Cop City’ Protester A court record reviewed by 404 Media shows privacy-focused email provider Proton Mail handed over payment data related to a Stop Cop City email account to the Swiss government, which handed it to the…

A court record reviewed by 404 Media shows privacy-focused email provider Proton Mail handed over payment data related to a Stop Cop City email account to the Swiss government, which handed it to the FBI.
www.404media.co/proton-mail-...

Obverse, bum-centered view of the white marble sculpture 'Fallen Angel' by Waldo Story, 1889. A winged, female angel figure lies supported by a young man. She's clearly in a bad way. Everyone's nude, because of course they are. The sculpture is set in the middle of Newcastle's Laing Art Gallery's cafe, so you can see it up close while you eat your scones

My last day at the Gallery, so also my last chance for a submission to @museumbums.bsky.social
Presenting: 'Fallen Angel' by Waldo Storey, 1889. Laing Art Gallery, Newcastle. A twofer.

A Grey Parrot on a perch at Northumberland Zoo. Well fed, healthy looking and giving visitors the eye.

Today's perfect distraction from *gestures* all this stuff: Grey Parrots at Northumberland Zoo. Who's a pretty boy? He's a pretty boy!

Oh bravo London Centric.

One of the greatest bollard walks in history.
#WorldBollardAssociation

Okay, this is quite outstanding from Bedford Council.

A warning sign reading "danger not only will this kill you it will hurt the whole time youre dying"

Roses are red,
These times are quite trying

I became Senior VP at a multi-million dollar company at age 26. My salary was $600k. This was in 2018. How did I do it? Blacked out lines CEO (my dad) promoted me to SVP. There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.

This is blackout poetry to me

👋Hello everyone, I am craftswoman from 🇺🇦Ukraine. In these dark times, my art is the only thing that keeps me moving forward. Currently, I have zero orders, and it’s getting harder to survive.
Please support my small business:
www.instagram.com/ukrainian_je...

#Planetoftheapes premiered on February 8, 1968, at the Capitol Theatre in New York City.

Fuck's sake...
@barneyfarmer.bsky.social

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again.
#Pinks #ProudBlue

This most recent Onion is my favorite one yet and, despite a million newsier things (Pedotopia, JK Rowling breaking out of an insane asylum), this is my favorite headline in it.

Meta Is Blocking Links to ICE List on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads Users of Meta’s social platforms can no longer share links to ICE List, a website listing what it claims are the names of thousands of DHS employees.

Users of Meta’s social platforms can no longer share links to ICE List, a website listing what it claims are the names of thousands of DHS employees.

Shot and chaser from new Epstein batch

Giving money to Donald Trump that's intended for children, you say?